You might think that orgasms can only happen through genital stimulation. After all, that’s how most of us first learn to orgasm, and it’s the primary way most people orgasm throughout their lives.
Breast stimulation? For most, it usually only occurs at the start of sexual arousal and during foreplay, as a brief build up to the real action. Breast orgasms? They sound as likely as other fabled but hard-to-believe phenomena like climaxing from stimulation of the cervix.
But here’s the truth: the entire body is one big orgasmic machine with many nerve endings and erogenous zones, the nipples and breasts among the most sensitive. Each nipple has hundreds of nerve endings, and one study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine actually found that nipple stimulation activated the same area of the brain, the genital sensory cortex, as clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
“The brain is the most important sex organ,” explains Daniel Sher, clinical psychologist and consultant for the Between Us Clinic. “All physiological input is mediated and interpreted by the brain. This is why, for example, males and females can orgasm during their sleep.”
Yes, You Can Train Yourself to Have Breast Orgasms
I didn’t used to believe in breast orgasms – in fact, I used to have almost no sensation in my nipples or breasts. But after giving myself breast massages, asking partners to take their time stimulating my breasts, and doing meditation to expand sensation in the area, I actually started experiencing breast orgasms myself.
“Breast or nipple orgasms are definitely real,” says sexuality coach Maria Hubmann. “They feel like an explosion of pleasure throughout the chest and breasts. They can even feel a bit confusing, because of the strong orgasmic sensations of intense pleasure and its expansion, yet at an unusual location.”
“The breast orgasm can be a bit different for each person,” says Robert Thomas, sex therapist and co-founder of Sextopedia. “Some of my clients have described the feeling to be very similar to a regular orgasm from masturbation or intercourse. Others, on the contrary, have said breast orgasms are even more intense than ‘normal’ orgasms!”
For me, the sensation starts in my breasts and spreads to my genitals. I’ll get vaginal contractions and a feeling of release, but it doesn’t feel final like my usual climax from clitoral stimulation with a vibrator; I can keep going after – and usually want to.
“Beyond physical pleasure, breast stimulation leads to a burst of oxytocin, the brain chemical associated with feelings of love and attachment.”
Thomas has had both male and female clients experience breast and nipple orgasms, so they seem to be possible for anyone. If you’re curious about having one yourself, here’s a road map for getting there.
Step 1: Give Yourself a Breast Massage
Set aside some time just to explore sensations in your breasts, whether or not that leads to an orgasm. Lie down, use massage oil if you like, and try out different kinds of touch. “What I notice working is running the fingers, knuckles, or fingernails over the nipples, either on the skin or, when that feels too intense, over some clothes,” says Hubmann. “Relax into the sensations.” What worked for me was making big circles around my breasts and areola, and then little ones just around the nipples, with a light touch and coconut oil on my fingers.
Step 2: Ask Your Partner to Play with Your Breasts
Your partner can also join in the effort. Hubmann suggests having them try out different techniques like massaging with scented lotions, stroking, licking, and sucking. Sucking can be particularly “productive,” because it increases the nipple’s sensitivity and increases blood flow to the area.
Some people like rougher breast and nipple play. If this is you, you can have your partner pinch or nibble your nipples, or even use nipple clamps or breast bondage, says Thomas. Hot and cold play can be another fun way to open up sensation in your breasts. Making noise while partners were playing with my breasts helped me get into it and increase the sensation there. A big part of the journey was just learning to think of my boobs as sexual organs.
Step 3: Touch Your Breasts and Genitals at the Same Time
If you stimulate your breasts while you’re also stimulating someplace that already gives you orgasms, like your clitoris, you can begin to associate orgasmic sensations with your breasts, says Hubmann. Try to bring awareness more and more to the breasts while you do this, until they’re the main area you’re focusing on.
Step 4: Stimulate the Genitals, Then the Breasts
Once you’ve gotten close to orgasm through genital stimulation, breast stimulation may actually push you over the edge, says Hubmann. “Stroke yourself in a way that brings you the most pleasure, and stroke and play with your breasts at the same time, then only the breasts, and so on,” she suggests. “Build your pleasure and focus on the breasts and the pleasure there. If you are close to orgasm, keep breathing and stroking your breasts while you rest the stimulation of your genitals. The pleasure in your body might be enough that the breast stimulation brings you to orgasm.”
Step 5: Use Meditation to Bring Sensation to Your Chest
This tip might sound too new age-y for you, but Inscape’s sex meditations were a big game-changer for me. Among their meditations for women is one specifically meant to open the heart and bring sensation to the breasts. There are also a lot of meditations there that simply help you connect to your body and feel more sexual sensation, which is helpful for any kind of orgasm you’re trying to open up.
Even if you don’t orgasm through breast stimulation, there’s a lot you can gain from exploring it. “Beyond physical pleasure, breast stimulation leads to a burst of oxytocin, the brain chemical associated with feelings of love and attachment,” says Sher. “This means that breast simulation is not just a possible route to physical pleasure, but also a key to improving emotional intimacy.”
How do scientists know that breast play induces release of the “love hormone?” There isn’t any specific research proving it, but experts believe it’s due to the same mechanism that causes the release of hormones like oxytocin and endorphins during breastfeeding.
In addition, breast play is a great alternative for those dealing with sexual issues that make genital arousal challenging, Sher adds. “Using breast stimulation is an incredible tool to broaden your sexual horizons and strengthen your emotional bonds.”
And above all, it can be a wonderful way to add variety and new levels of satisfaction to your sex life.