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Sexual Wellness

My First Sex Toy – Dame Staff Shares

| 02/11/2022

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Do you remember your first kiss? The first thing you saw that gave you a tingle? What about your first orgasm (or maybe you’re not sure if you’ve had that yet)?  Here at Dame, we love celebrating wherever you’re at in your pleasure journey, so we asked some of our staff to share the story of their first sex toy. The answers did not disappoint!


“My mom’s vibrating dildo 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ok like I was going through my mom’s drawer and found this vibrating dildo with an anatomical penis sleeve. I guess I thought I’d just rinse it and borrow and put it back…. but I never did. I just stole it. What was she going to do? confront me about it? that would have been awkward for her… though this does feel really embarrassing to admit out loud. Whatever GOOD FOR ME! I didn’t have access, I saw something, I took it and I’m now owning that truth.”

-Al, she/her, CEO and Co-Founder


“I was 19 and my boyfriend at the time was going on study abroad, so I wanted something to tide me over. I referenced the reviews of sex bloggers and landed on the rabbit-style Lelo Ina. When I told my boyfriend about my purchase, he had SUCH a tantrum that I shut down immediately–it’s just a vibrator!!! Needless to say, the vibrator outlasted the relationship and now I have a literal career designing vibrators, a whole drawer of goodies, as well as plenty of past and present partners who have been enthusiastic about sex toys.”

-Julia, she/her, Lead Product Engineer


I googled ‘ways to masturbate’ in the middle of the night and suddenly realized sex toys were available!


“I bought my first vibrating c**k ring in my early 30s after having been married several years. It was the first vibe either of us had ever owned. I was super shy to even enter the store… and was mortified when, at checkout, the cashier insisted on opening the packaging and taking it out to verify that it actually turned on! In any case, it was a big hit, and my ex-wife and I would refer to it as the “buzzy thing”. The relationship didn’t last, but my appreciation for buzzy things certainly did!”

-Anonymous Dame Employee


“In college, I had a friend who showed me her dildo and told me that her favorite thing was to use it when she was on her period because it just “cleaned everything out.” That was an appealing idea to me but I felt sort of weird about owning something so explicitly dick-shaped so I got a slender, inexpensive vibrator (I think it was a JimmyJane Smoothie?), which ended up doing absolutely nothing for me or my period, partly because even on the lowest setting it was too scary.”

-Carla, she/her, Director of Content


“I went to the local sex shop as soon as I turned 18. It was a giant warehouse of magazines, lingerie, and, of course, toys. I happened upon some dead stock vibrator in wacky packaging. It was in a totally far-out 1960’s box with bright colored images of men playing sports, and a woman caressing her face with a missile-shaped thing. I had to have it! It was battery operated and you had to twist the base to turn it on. The vibe itself was really unappealing- kinda beige and hard plastic. I mostly displayed the box on my dresser, but I did use it a few times. It was definitely buzzy and it got the job done. But, the thought of someone using this to massage their back after 9 holes just cracks me up.”

-Morgan, she/her, Account Executive


When I first opened it, I was immediately reminded of Sex and the City, and I couldn’t wait to try it.


“At 23, I was frustrated that it would take me a while to orgasm just using my fingers. I googled “ways to masturbate” in the middle of the night and suddenly realized sex toys were available! I don’t know how I never thought of this concept earlier/came across ads for them. I shared a room at the time so I had no privacy to use one (I was terrified they’d be really loud). A few months later, when I moved into my first apartment, I treated myself to my first wand. It was a cheap $25 find on Amazon and I definitely saw fireworks every couple of nights.”

-Adriana, she/her, Customer Support Rep


“During my freshman year of college, I was working a part-time retail job and had become friends with a few of my coworkers who were senior to me. Many nights out ended in personal conversations over drinks. One of them, who was black and queer like me, became a close friend of mine and one day after a long night dancing and drink, we ended up in west village combing through sex shops and that’s when she bought and gifted me my very first vibrator, a Purple Jack Rabbit Vibrator.”

-Raven, she/her, Sr. Digital Designer


“My first vibe was the Pink Rabbit (ala this) and it was given to me by my college boyfriend for Christmas. He said he read a lot of reviews to understand what might work be best for me. When I first opened it, I was immediately reminded of Sex and the City, and I couldn’t wait to try it.

That being said, I was a late bloomer and didn’t really know *how* to use it (it felt *so* huge to me and the directions weren’t super clear) — which of course sent me into a shame spiral (“okay Mariah, are you going to be a Samantha or a Charlotte about this?!”). My partner was (and still is) very patient and open about sex, and he helped me ease into using the vibrator together until I got comfortable and felt good using it on my own. To this day, the toy + support were some of the most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me.”

-Mariah, she/her, Sr. Brand Manager


There was a long period of trial and error.


“In college, my sorority had an event hosted by Pure Romance. I guess our college had some representatives? Anyway, they basically bring all the toys, everyone giggles and got all the dildo content they needed for IG and Snapchat. Then we went into a room privately with a rep to make our purchases and I got a bullet vibe! I remember I asked if I went inside you. ~face palm~ I was a toy newbie!! It was a game-changer.”

-Rachel, she/her, People Operations


“A former team member and I went out for drinks one night and had a little too much! We thought it was a great idea to go into a sex toy shop and purchase our first vibrators together. My husband picks us up and we jump into the car and start sharing all the things that we saw and the goods we bought, then all of a sudden we hear a deep voice say, “HELLO ALEXIS?! WHAT’S GOING ON??” We look at the dashboard and see that I had butt-dialed my Dad and he heard our ENTIRE conversation about vibrators. Needless to say, it took a few weeks to call my Dad back.”

-Alexis, she/her, Director of People & Culture


“Right after college, my friends and I went to a sex shop to buy a first vibrator. The salesperson recommended getting a bullet as a beginner but I didn’t fancy myself a beginner. Instead, I bought a rabbit vibrator and let’s just say there was a long period of trial and error.”

-Anonymous Dame Employee


Do you remember your first? Share your story in the comments!

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