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Your November Sexoscope

| 10/31/2017

Illustrations by Lea Carey

The sexiest stars are in our favor this crisp month earthlings! Things get kinky and weird in the best ways thanks to the Sun, new Moon, Mercury and Jupiter all Scorpio. Scorpio rules death, psychology, sexuality, transformation, the occult and garbage. These are the topics dancing through our minds. There is productive destruction to be had and our desires must be conquered aggressively. The full Taurus Moon on the 4th has us holding on, while the new Scorp Moon on the 18th forces us to let go and reflect. Everything feels intense, but so so good…dive into the darkness witches!

ARIES (March 21 — April 19)

November starts off sassy, feisty, and fast just like you Aries. Your schedule is packed but your hornier than ever and your relationship needs attention. Whether you are single or in a long term relationship your romantic life needs emotional labor but you likely don’t have the time. That is okay- but say it (kinda) nicely. Don’t overthink any dark thoughts, or dreams, you have right now it’s just your mind clearing house. The end of the month offers more relaxation time, key word: relaxation. If you can’t relax, take out the physical energy on your sacral chakra if you know what I mean. The excess of orgasms will get that mind to chill out for once! Get it off your mind, get off, and after a couple good days of this December will be a breeze!

TAURUS (April 20 — May 20)

October was a rough ride for ya but November promises greener pastures (metaphorically, most pastures are probably brown right now.) With all sorts of planets in your opposing sign, this month is all about big changes for you. YOU, not those around you or your home or your job and the full Moon in your sign on the 4th pushes this. Emotionally you will be getting to a way better place, and as the weight continues to lift off energetically the saddle calls your name (again, metaphorically.) Dive into this horny Scorpio energy but stick to your slow and patient Taurus nature…this creates for a climax level that you’ll stick right in the spank bank for the winter!

GEMINI (May 21 — June 20)

Your mouth is extra dirty this month Gemini, but don’t you dare hold back! Embrace this dark n witty vibe you have at the beginning of the month and gab away. If something isn’t quite right at work try not to take it home with you, it’ll clear up with time naturally. You don’t want to mess with your hot streak! From the 19th on you’ll be feeling super duper quiet and internal, and may not want to be around anybody. Do you, and take on some old to do list things you put off to distract your mind. Listen (and communicate) any fantasies that pop up in your mind while day dreaming- even just the saying it will get your engine going. Such a verbal creature, Gemini!

CANCER (June 21 — July 22)

Venus jumps into your house of true love this month enhancing all of your relationships. All this attention and happiness should be just what you needed to feel like getting it on. The Scorpio energy helps too! Incorporate more sensual items into your home decor such as candles, velvet elements and darker colors and it will enhance sexy time for months to come. The new Moon on the 18th will have you suddenly realizing a big change that needs to be made for your long term health. Kick the habit cold turkey, the planets are on your side right now! Having such a sexy home will help too…

LEO (July 23 — August 22)

You’ll be in full lion mode the first couple weeks of November and wanting to take the lead in all areas of life. Roar loud and proud, and consider trying out a little role play that embraces this bossiness. Getting out some steam too will balance out your emotions and prevent any unexpected breakdowns from the Scorpio energy. Spruce up your home around Thanksgiving whether your expecting company or not. Toss out some items that have become garbage over time, all the fluffing will make for even less distractions during free time. Cleansing your nest is very needed right now and can shift up the whole vibe for a more pleasure friendly environment.

VIRGO (August 23 — September 22)

Now is the time for acceptance and all of the wonderful freedom that comes with that. Loosen up, let it all go and watch your body have a whole lot more fun. You’ll be crazy busy anyways, no time for over thinking right now. Go with the flow, and initiate sex whenever you want it. No need to plan or communicate a schedule with your booty buddy, just trust that you’ll be grounded enough to recognize a good time. A little aggression and judgement from friends might have you caught up as the month wraps up. Stay detached and observant, deflecting their behavior will force them to recognize it on their own!

LIBRA (September 23 — October 22)

Mars is in your sign giving you a fiery flair of confidence, and this month you’ll have multiple facets to display this. Go all out with your outfits, or costumes, and tap into your darker creative side. Somebody might sweep you off your feet mid month sending you into a dense love fog. Float around up there while you can, but be sure the physical labors are being reciprocated! Set the tone for what you like, what you want, and what to never expect…Everything is in your control for once, probably uncomfortable for you but important for setting things back to where you like them.

SCORPIO (October 23 — November 21)

This month is a slam dunk for you as far as getting lucky. Little effort will be needed and partners will flock to you like months to a flame. Enjoy and bask in your season! Accept all gifts and labors of love without guilt. The new Moon is an emotional new year for you in a way. Time to shed some layers of the past, and summon up some courage for changes. No need to dive right in, just a little mental processing in between all the action in the sheets. Check in with you, and get as much fresh air as you can before hibernating starts up next month!

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 — December 21)

Try not to pick or pry at the secrets of others the first week of November. Stay detached and you’ll avoid the stress you don’t need. Focus on speaking your heart, and pleasure center, clearly and genuinely right now. Reconnect with your sexual roots, and the very basics of turning you on. The fast pace likely has you twirled and bound up tightly, possibly bogged down by old ideas. Get to know yourself again, and take it real slow. You’ll be surprised how fun this is all month…

CAPRICORN (December 22 — January 19)

Everything starts off rosy this month with a full Moon in your fellow earth sign. Your social life will be buzzing and so will your phone. Go against your organized nature and flow with the influx of random dates you’ll be getting. Keep a clear schedule and you’ll find yourself playing during all playtime! The end of the month should be wrapped up with lots and lots of self care. A hot bath, trusty toy and a day off or two will be just the ticket to kick the holiday blues. No need to explain yourself to anyone, your astrologist says so!

AQUARIUS (January 20 — February 18)

All this deep and emotional energy this month can either work for you or not Aquarius- up to YOU! To dig in or to detach that is the question…Whatever you choose to do with your feelings this month, turn to sex for healing. Sexual healing, just like the song, will get your mind in tune with your heart. You take the stage in your social sphere for the last week of November and hopefully you’ll have some hot stories and advice to give. Don’t be shy now, if you found a new position give your friends a play by play. They probably need it, and will return the favor during your dry spells in the future!

PISCES (Februrary 19 — March 20)

November starts off slow and sensual with plenty of time in between. Enjoy all the little things and super basic fall indulgences, pumpkin muffins included. All this reboot time will pay off on the 16th when sudden (and oh so sexual) confidence busts through. Take the reins and ride it cowgirl! That person you’ve been eyeing, and crushing on, will make their interest known and you’ve been chomping at the bit. Finances are looking up too for the last week of November, maybe after all the romps you can treat them to a nice meal. Or at least a nice bowl of pasta to carb up for the next session.

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