Introducing a Toy Into The Bedroom
Relationships

Introducing a Toy Into The Bedroom

2 min read

Created on 01/02/2019
Updated on 23/03/2026
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Josh Nalven

Josh Nalven

Author

Though we’re not always talking — talking comprehensibly, I mean — during sex, it’s a constant dialogue. Letting your partners know what works and what doesn’t is the cornerstone of an awesome sex life.

But introducing new ideas and new objects in the bedroom can cause some anxiety. Our sexualities are a source of much vulnerability for many of us, even when something as simple as a toy enters the mix. Partners may wonder:

“Is it the sex we’ve been having boring?”
“Are we going to use this thing 100% of the time?”
“You wouldn’t want this if I were good enough in bed…”

These are valid concerns! But around the office, we like to compare sex toys to ice cream sprinkles. You can add as many or as little as you want. You can have some today, and none tomorrow if you like. And the humble sprinkle can’t truly replace the noble ice cream — it just adds to what you already have. Ultimately, it’s a fun option, not a new way of life.

With this openness in mind, it might help to keep your first playtime somewhat improvisational. Make sex with your new doodad a collaborative experience and invite your partner to help you explore the best ways to use it. This will keep expectations low, and the fun factor high.

Versatile, non-phallic toys like Fin and Pom are friendly-looking and quick to pick up or put away, making them great options for partners looking to choose their own adventure. For those looking to add to what they already have, Eva II is a couple's vibrator designed to add vibration to penetrative sex, while Pillo is exactly that: a pillow designed to give you better angles, no batteries required.

Ultimately, it’s our duty to our partners to respect their boundaries. If yours gives you a hard “No,” at least ask for feedback as to why. Hopefully the experience will make you both more comfortable sharing new ideas in the future. You may even find that they come around on their own once they feel like they’re not put on the spot.

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FAQs

A: A vibrator is a powerful and versatile personal pleasure device that creates vibrations to stimulate various sensitive areas of your body, like the clitoris and G-spot. They come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and features, so there's something for everyone.

Vibrators can be used on almost any erogenous zone, offering unique sensations that can boost your pleasure and help you discover what feels amazing. Some are designed to mimic penetration, while others focus on external stimulation to give you an unforgettable experience.

Did you know that fewer than 20% of vulva-owner can climax solely with vaginal stimulation or intercourse? This is why vibrators have been growing in popularity, and why companies like Dame are dedicated to amplifying the conversation of closing the pleasure gap.

Learn more on the blog.

A: Using a vibrator can enhance your pleasure significantly, but where you use them differs based on preference and if you are a vulva or penis owner. Begin by selecting a comfortable and private space where you feel at ease. If desired, use sex toy-safe lubrication, as this will enhance sensations and reduce friction. Turn on your vibrator (usually a button on the opposite end of the "head"), and explore different settings or intensities using the buttons provided on the device and gradually finding what feels best for you.

For an additional step-by-step guide, check out detailed instructions here, which talk about insights on techniques, positioning, and tips for maximum pleasure.

A: There are numerous types of vibrators, each designed for various forms of stimulation:

Clit Vibrator: These are specifically shaped to target the clitoris, often with a compact and discreet design for ease of use.

G-spot Vibrator: Typically curved, these vibrators are designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot, providing deeper sensations during penetration.

Finger Vibrator: Small and often worn on the fingertip, these offer precise control and are perfect for targeted stimulation.

Couples Vibrator: Designed to be worn during intercourse, they provide simultaneous pleasure by stimulating both partners.

Vibrating Cock Ring: Worn around the base of the penis, these enhance sensations for both partners during sex and can help with stamina.

Suction Vibrator: These use suction air-pulse technology to create a unique sensation for the clitoris, often simulating oral stimulation.

Wand Vibrator: Known for its powerful motors and larger size, these versatile devices can be used all over the body for broad-based pleasure.

Bullet Vibrator: Compact and portable and designed for targeted stimulation and are perfect for both solo and partnered play.

A: Yes! Dame vibrators are designed to be waterproof, making them suitable for use in the bath or shower. They also come with rechargeable batteries, eliminating the need for disposable batteries and ensuring long-lasting pleasure. Most can be charged via USB, making it easy to keep them ready for when the mood strikes.

A: Dame vibrators are touted for their whisper-quiet motors, designed to pleasure without drawing attention or distracting during intimate moments. If you're looking for a discreet vibrator, try looking for something smaller in size, like a bullet vibrator.