sex ed gift guide
Culture

Give the Gift of Sexual Knowledge This Holiday Season

3 min read

Created on 14/12/2020
Updated on 13/10/2022
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Alexandra Fine

Alexandra Fine

Dame founder & sexologist

10+ years of experience

Sexual wellness Orgasm science Pleasure education

Alexandra Fine is the co-founder and CEO of Dame, a pioneering sexual wellness company known for its innovative products and mission to close the pleasure gap. Recognized in Forbes’ 30 Under 30 2018, Alexandra leads Dame in designing user-centered tools that enhance intimacy, receiving acclaim from major outlets like The New York Times and Wired. Under her leadership, Dame Products has become a leader in the sexual wellness industry, raised over $14M in capital, and launched in Target and Walmart, all while advocating for women's health and breaking barriers in advertising.

Edie Elliott Granger

Edie Elliott Granger

Editor & content strategist

3+ years of experience

Sexual wellness Orgasm science Pleasure education

Edie Elliott Granger is Dame's editor and content strategist specializing in sexual wellness, pleasure education, and accessible health information. She helps shape editorial content at Dame, translating research, expert insights, and cultural conversations into clear, approachable resources. With a background in sex education, her work focuses on making conversations around sex, bodies, and pleasure more informed, inclusive, and stigma-free.

Are you still stumped on gift ideas for your sexually curious friend or lover? You could always get them a toy or tool for the bedroom, like a luxurious vibe or some lube. But for a person who cares more about expanding their mind than their collection of stuff, why not give the gift of sexual knowledge this year? Here are our favorite books, workshops, courses, and worksheets for the aspiring sexpert in your life. (Or just yourself!)

come as you are1. The Gottman Institute’s 30 Days to a Better Relationship, $30

John and Julie Gottman are giants of the relationship therapy world, and this course brings their skills and experience straight to your inbox. You’ll receive one email per day for 30 days, with little activities and prompts you can try with a partner. Give it to a friend who loves their spouse but feels stuck lately, or give it to your boo if you two have been tender during quarantine.

2. The Come As You Are workbook, $11 on Amazon

Emily Nagoski’s instant classic Come As You Are is now in workbook form. Billed as a “practical companion” to the book, this collection of worksheets, journaling prompts, diagrams, and illustrations is the perfect gift for a curious, introspective friend who loves to explore.

3. Luna Matatas’ FemDom Coaching, $106.25 for a 1-on-1 coaching session

Luna is a seasoned sex educator who offers an array of webinars and workshops. Her FemDom class will introduce you to techniques for skills like subspace, aftercare, consent, rituals, and more. Now that everything’s digital, she can bestow her expertise onto you wherever you live.

pillow talk4. The School of Life’s Pillow Talk cards, $20

This educational organization has all kinds of books and workshops (not to mention a great newsletter!), but we particularly love their card collections. The Pillow Talk cards open up the channels of communication with your bedfellow, with questions like “What kind of power dynamics excite you?” and “In what way do you feel ashamed or guilty around sex?”

5. Intimacy on the Plate by Olga Petrenko, $39.99 on Amazon

Have you been getting more into cooking in quarantine? You might as well incorporate aphrodisiacs into your repertoire. In Intimacy on the Plate, Olga Petrenko serves up more than 200 recipes that are “known around the world to contribute to sexual desire.”

ace6. Ace by Angela Chen, $21 on Amazon

This fascinating and well-researched book about the spectrum of asexuality reminds us that horniness is not an interesting personality trait in itself, and compulsory sexuality is just as bad as sexual repression. Get this for the asexual or demisexual person in your life—or anyone who’s struggling to separate their true desires from what they’re “supposed” to want.

7. Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire workshop, $199

If you’ve read Esther Perel’s books Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, or listened to her mesmerizing podcast, you’ve probably thought, “I wish she were my therapist.” This online multimedia course gets you pretty damn close, for a fraction of what she likely charges by the hour.

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FAQs

A: A vibrator is a powerful and versatile personal pleasure device that creates vibrations to stimulate various sensitive areas of your body, like the clitoris and G-spot. They come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and features, so there's something for everyone.

Vibrators can be used on almost any erogenous zone, offering unique sensations that can boost your pleasure and help you discover what feels amazing. Some are designed to mimic penetration, while others focus on external stimulation to give you an unforgettable experience.

Did you know that fewer than 20% of vulva-owner can climax solely with vaginal stimulation or intercourse? This is why vibrators have been growing in popularity, and why companies like Dame are dedicated to amplifying the conversation of closing the pleasure gap.

Learn more on the blog.

A: Using a vibrator can enhance your pleasure significantly, but where you use them differs based on preference and if you are a vulva or penis owner. Begin by selecting a comfortable and private space where you feel at ease. If desired, use sex toy-safe lubrication, as this will enhance sensations and reduce friction. Turn on your vibrator (usually a button on the opposite end of the "head"), and explore different settings or intensities using the buttons provided on the device and gradually finding what feels best for you.

For an additional step-by-step guide, check out detailed instructions here, which talk about insights on techniques, positioning, and tips for maximum pleasure.

A: There are numerous types of vibrators, each designed for various forms of stimulation:

Clit Vibrator: These are specifically shaped to target the clitoris, often with a compact and discreet design for ease of use.

G-spot Vibrator: Typically curved, these vibrators are designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot, providing deeper sensations during penetration.

Finger Vibrator: Small and often worn on the fingertip, these offer precise control and are perfect for targeted stimulation.

Couples Vibrator: Designed to be worn during intercourse, they provide simultaneous pleasure by stimulating both partners.

Vibrating Cock Ring: Worn around the base of the penis, these enhance sensations for both partners during sex and can help with stamina.

Suction Vibrator: These use suction air-pulse technology to create a unique sensation for the clitoris, often simulating oral stimulation.

Wand Vibrator: Known for its powerful motors and larger size, these versatile devices can be used all over the body for broad-based pleasure.

Bullet Vibrator: Compact and portable and designed for targeted stimulation and are perfect for both solo and partnered play.

A: Yes! Dame vibrators are designed to be waterproof, making them suitable for use in the bath or shower. They also come with rechargeable batteries, eliminating the need for disposable batteries and ensuring long-lasting pleasure. Most can be charged via USB, making it easy to keep them ready for when the mood strikes.

A: Dame vibrators are touted for their whisper-quiet motors, designed to pleasure without drawing attention or distracting during intimate moments. If you're looking for a discreet vibrator, try looking for something smaller in size, like a bullet vibrator.