The Busy Woman’s Guide to Self-Care After 30
Sexual Wellness

The Busy Woman’s Guide to Self-Care After 30

3 min read

Created on 29/10/2018
Updated on 13/10/2022
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Edie Elliot Granger

Edie Elliot Granger

Editor & content strategist

3+ years of experience

Sexual wellness Orgasm science Pleasure education

Edie Elliott Granger is Dame's editor and content strategist specializing in sexual wellness, pleasure education, and accessible health information. She helps shape editorial content at Dame, translating research, expert insights, and cultural conversations into clear, approachable resources. With a background in sex education, her work focuses on making conversations around sex, bodies, and pleasure more informed, inclusive, and stigma-free.

Alexandra Fine

Alexandra Fine

Dame founder & sexologist

10+ years of experience

Sexual wellness Orgasm science Pleasure education

Alexandra Fine is the co-founder and CEO of Dame, a pioneering sexual wellness company known for its innovative products and mission to close the pleasure gap. Recognized in Forbes’ 30 Under 30 2018, Alexandra leads Dame in designing user-centered tools that enhance intimacy, receiving acclaim from major outlets like The New York Times and Wired. Under her leadership, Dame Products has become a leader in the sexual wellness industry, raised over $14M in capital, and launched in Target and Walmart, all while advocating for women's health and breaking barriers in advertising.

I have a secret for you, dear reader: the right ways to care for yourself are often the laziest. Having energy, feeling good, and enjoying your life all boil down to doing a few easy, impactful things, and nixing the rest.

Drink an Enormous Amount of Water

We all know this — and yet! We don’t do it. Sharing hydration memes is great, but the water needs to actually enter your mouth. Get a clear, reusable water bottle so that you can’t fill it and forget it. When you lock eyes with your new, watery deskmate, take a swig. A clear bottle also lets you keep track of how clean it is — water bottles can get groaty! Invest in a cheapo bottle brush and keep it clean.

Avoid Makeup and Sunlight

Vampires look youthful, but immortality is only part of the reason. Chemicals and UV rays are bad for your skin, so fuck ‘em! The ultimate skincare routine is to basically never wear makeup, and to slather on the SPF. When I do decide to buy into some kind of beauty thing, I always go for something that lasts a long time. Get fake lashes that last for weeks, and trade your razor for a laser.

Masturbate a Ton

It relieves stress, burns calories, helps you get to sleep, and it’s FUN and FREE, and you can do it in bed! What a gift! We at Dame just released Pom, our first true solo toy, and your new essential wellness tool. Vulva-havers of all types helped us develop it, so check it out!

Routines, Routines, Routines

Do the same thing over and over, and I promise you, you won’t get bored. Indecision, waffling, hemming and hawing — that’s boring. Eat the same exact thing for breakfast every day. At the start of a season, get five outfits together and only choose from those. Trying to exercise more? Just do literally whatever you’re willing and able to do over and over. Walking 1 mile three times a week is better than a full run once a month… or zero times a month, if you’re like me. If it works and it’s easy, then stick to it!

Do Nothing

You’re always doing stuff, and it’s probably why you’re so stressed. So do the opposite! Duh. Meditation apps are taking off right now, and for a great reason. I think they’re worth the hype. Cultivating mindfulness, or even just pumping the brakes on your inner monologue, can make the rest of your day so, so much better. If you feel “umm” about “Ohms” then take a long, slow walk, preferably without any music or other distractions. The whole point is to unplug and give your mind some unstructured time to unclench. Whew!

Take Care of Yourself FIRST

You know how you’re supposed to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others in the event of an airline emergency? Self-care is the same, my friend. You can’t support your pals if you’re struggling to stand up yourself. You should never use self-care as an excuse to check-out completely or ask too much from people, but you also shouldn’t shy away from taking the time to get what you need. Hopefully these lazy tips will make that even easier!

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FAQs

A: A vibrator is a powerful and versatile personal pleasure device that creates vibrations to stimulate various sensitive areas of your body, like the clitoris and G-spot. They come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and features, so there's something for everyone.

Vibrators can be used on almost any erogenous zone, offering unique sensations that can boost your pleasure and help you discover what feels amazing. Some are designed to mimic penetration, while others focus on external stimulation to give you an unforgettable experience.

Did you know that fewer than 20% of vulva-owner can climax solely with vaginal stimulation or intercourse? This is why vibrators have been growing in popularity, and why companies like Dame are dedicated to amplifying the conversation of closing the pleasure gap.

Learn more on the blog.

A: Using a vibrator can enhance your pleasure significantly, but where you use them differs based on preference and if you are a vulva or penis owner. Begin by selecting a comfortable and private space where you feel at ease. If desired, use sex toy-safe lubrication, as this will enhance sensations and reduce friction. Turn on your vibrator (usually a button on the opposite end of the "head"), and explore different settings or intensities using the buttons provided on the device and gradually finding what feels best for you.

For an additional step-by-step guide, check out detailed instructions here, which talk about insights on techniques, positioning, and tips for maximum pleasure.

A: There are numerous types of vibrators, each designed for various forms of stimulation:

Clit Vibrator: These are specifically shaped to target the clitoris, often with a compact and discreet design for ease of use.

G-spot Vibrator: Typically curved, these vibrators are designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot, providing deeper sensations during penetration.

Finger Vibrator: Small and often worn on the fingertip, these offer precise control and are perfect for targeted stimulation.

Couples Vibrator: Designed to be worn during intercourse, they provide simultaneous pleasure by stimulating both partners.

Vibrating Cock Ring: Worn around the base of the penis, these enhance sensations for both partners during sex and can help with stamina.

Suction Vibrator: These use suction air-pulse technology to create a unique sensation for the clitoris, often simulating oral stimulation.

Wand Vibrator: Known for its powerful motors and larger size, these versatile devices can be used all over the body for broad-based pleasure.

Bullet Vibrator: Compact and portable and designed for targeted stimulation and are perfect for both solo and partnered play.

A: Yes! Dame vibrators are designed to be waterproof, making them suitable for use in the bath or shower. They also come with rechargeable batteries, eliminating the need for disposable batteries and ensuring long-lasting pleasure. Most can be charged via USB, making it easy to keep them ready for when the mood strikes.

A: Dame vibrators are touted for their whisper-quiet motors, designed to pleasure without drawing attention or distracting during intimate moments. If you're looking for a discreet vibrator, try looking for something smaller in size, like a bullet vibrator.