Types of Sex: Traditional Classifications
It might seem strange for someone to ask how many types of sex there are. At first glance, the answer seems obvious: sexual intercourse (often called penetrative sex or vaginal sex, since those terms expand the historical cisgender definition), oral sex, and anal sex. But the word “sex” can be defined in many ways – just ask former president Bill Clinton. For instance, you can put solo and/or mutual masturbation on that list as well; after all, fingering a vulva-haver’s clitoris is unquestionably sexual activity. You might even think of more preliminary foreplay as a type of sex. It’s pretty easy, though, to compile a “traditional” list.Penetrative Sex
A penis penetrating a vagina – what many people think of as sexual intercourse – is the clearest example of penetrative or vaginal sex. The definition can get murky, though. The insertion of vibrators (or other sex toys) into a vagina would seem to be penetrative sex as well, although some put that activity into its own “masturbation” category. And while inserting a penis or toy into body parts like the anus is certainly “penetration,” that type of activity traditionally has its own, separate category. There are no reliable studies showing what percentage of couples regularly have penetrative sex. Existing research usually focuses on “frequency of sex” (usually by age groups), without specifying whether that “sex” involves vaginal penetration. It’s generally accepted, however, that sexual intercourse or other forms of penetrative sex are the most common form of adult sexual activity.Oral Sex
The numbers are much clearer on oral sex. The authoritative National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior reports that well over half of U.S. adults, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or preference, have given or received oral at least once in the past year. The number is much higher, nearly 75%, among those in their 20s and 30s. For that reason, trying oral sex is unlikely to be a viable option for couples seeking to revitalize their sex life. The majority already have it on their sexual menu. Most oral sex involves contact between one partner’s mouth and the other partner’s genitals, with fellatio (stimulation of the penis) more common than cunnilingus (stimulation of the vulva). There are also several types of sex toys which can simulate oral sex quite well. Analingus (stimulation of the anus with the lips or tongue) is usually considered a variation of anal sex rather than oral sex. Speaking of which…Anal Sex
Here’s the first type of sex you might consider if you’re trying to put new spice into your relationship, since the survey we just mentioned shows that only about one-third of adults have had anal sex in the past year. Fewer than half have experienced it during their lifetime, although many surveys show that the numbers are significantly higher for same-gendered couples (particularly penis-havers). For those considering anal sex for the first time, there’s a good reason that butt stuff can introduce new sensations and satisfactions to a relationship. It’s one of the body’s most sensitive erogenous zones, with an enormous number of nerve endings stretching from the opening of the anus all the way through to the rectum. That means that deep penetration isn’t always necessary to enjoy the benefits of anal sex. Activities like the analingus we mentioned earlier (commonly known as rimming), or the use of butt plugs which are generally smaller and “less threatening” than anal dildos or vibrators, can also provide immense pleasure. For the more adventurous, the use of an anal dildo or prostate massager can produce earth-shaking orgasms in prostate owners. (It can provide health benefits for them, too.) Anal penetration won’t produce the same type of climax in vulva-havers, although the g-spot can sometimes be stimulated during anal sex. Opposite-gendered couples really looking to shake up their relationship’s dynamics might want to try pegging, which involves a vulva owner penetrating a penis-haver’s anus with a strap-on dildo. A few important notes for novices: anal sex is often (and erroneously) considered “safer sex,” since it obviously eliminates the possibility of pregnancy. However, it poses more of a risk for transmission of sexually transmitted infections and diseases, so condom use is a good idea during anal penetration – not for contraception, but for protection against STDs and STIs. Ample amounts of lube are also a must, since the anus does not produce its own lubrication.Masturbation
We’re including this primarily for the sake of completeness, since everyone knows about masturbation and virtually everyone’s done it. But couples who have been singularly focused on penetrative sex during their relationship could rediscover intimacy and closeness by adding mutual masturbation to their bedtime menu. A slow and caring exploration of your significant other’s body allows you to learn more about their responses and their sexual desires – in simple terms, what makes them feel good and what makes them happy. Mutual masturbation can increase a couple’s levels of satisfaction dramatically, and may even awaken sexual feelings which have become dormant over time.Types of Sex: Moral Judgments
The Rorschach test is a well-known tool used by psychologists over the last century. As you likely know, subjects are shown inkblots and asked to describe them. They all “see different things” in the inkblots; those perceptions are interpreted to provide clues about their personality and emotional well-being. The important takeaway for this discussion is that people see things through different lenses. So when you ask experts to list the different types of sex, not all of them will answer the question in anatomical terms. Some may interpret the question as a religious or moral one instead. Prolific sex author Michael Castleman took a look at this viewpoint for Psychology Today, and came up with three very different categories of sex:- Procreative sex: In the first book of the Bible, humans are told to “be fruitful and multiply.” That’s why traditional religions have approved of sex that occurs within marriage and is aimed at perpetuating the species. Procreative sex was also important for the survival of pre-industrial societies, since large families were needed to properly tend the land, do the chores – and maintain population levels despite the constant threats of illness, famine, and early death.
- Relational sex: Sex within marriage (or in some religions and societies, within a defined relationship) became more universally acceptable in more recent years, even if procreation wasn’t the purpose. Since industrialization largely negated the need for large families, and birth control had became widely available and practiced, societies (and some religions) viewed non-procreative sex as the glue that helped maintain traditional relationships and families.
- Recreational sex: The Kinsey reports, published in the mid 20th century, told the world a poorly-kept secret: a large majority of the population had sex because it was fun and enjoyable, not just to have babies or keep a marriage intact. There still are religions and societal leaders scolding those who have recreational sex, yet the numbers don’t lie. For example, the government’s National Survey of Family Growth reports that only five percent of American first-time brides are virgins, while nearly one out of five had had at least ten previous sex partners. Recreational sex is now the norm.
