Myth #1: The more sex you have, the looser your vagina will become.This is a myth born out of a patriarchal, purity-centered ideology. And it is, to put it scientifically (like the classy clinical practitioner I am), complete and utter crap. Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate, puts the anatomy of vaginal elasticity into quite digestible terms: “Imagine smiling or yawning. Your mouth does this and then returns to its closed usual shape. Similarly, the vaginal muscle opens more before, during, and after sex – but then it relaxes and goes back to its usual shape,” she explains. “The truth is that as women get sexually aroused and natural lubrication flows, their vaginal muscle tissue relaxes somewhat – and this is important for penetrative sex because without relaxation, it would hurt. In other words, more relaxed – not tight – vaginal muscles are necessary for penetrative sex.”
Not only is vaginal tightness not a thing to be obsessing over, it’s not even a factor in what makes sexual activity feel good.Hear that? Having a vagina that is able to stretch more is not a sign of sexual dysfunction. It’s a good thing and makes for better, more comfortable (and therefore pleasurable) sexual encounters.
Myth #2: Tighter vaginas make sex better.This damaging myth is rooted in the same cis-het-male-centric rhetoric as myth #1. It is deeply infused into our thinking from the moment we learn what sex is, and may even be reinforced by ill-informed healthcare “professionals.” “Sex,” in this case, being PIV sex – for that is the only kind of sex that is ever talked about in sex ed across the country…if you were lucky enough to have sex ed or sexual health classes at all, that is. According to Felice Gersh, M.D., an OB/GYN and founder/director of the Integrative Medical Group of Irvine, in Irvine, CA, and the author of PCOS SOS Fertility Fast Track, the idea that having a tight vagina is key to pleasure is massively off-base. “Actually it doesn’t matter to males or females if the vagina is tight for sexual pleasure. The reality is that one of the biggest problems for sexual satisfaction is painful intercourse due to
Myth #3: Tighter vaginas are “purer” vaginas and are therefore more desirable.Wrong, wrong, so very wrong. Vaginal tightness has absolutely no bearing on your worth as a human being, a sexual person, or a potential partner. Anyone who tells you otherwise is deeply misinformed and living within a patriarchal shame-vortex that should have you running for the hills, babe. Not only is vaginal tightness not a thing to be obsessing over, it’s not even a factor in what makes sex good. Again, listen to the women’s health expert: “A healthy vagina, one well estrogenized and lubricated, will provide a great sexual experience for male and female, regardless of whether the vaginal canal’s diameter is slightly larger or smaller,” Gersh says. “After all, male penises come in varying sizes and are all just fine …and so too, can female vaginas vary in width.”
Myth #4: Having babies will make your vagina looser.Don’t get me wrong: Having a baby is a big deal. Physically, your body grows a human person inside of it, pushes it through the cervix, and out of the vagina. Can this cause tearing and “looseness?” Sure, but it’s temporary, especially if there are steps taken to help the perineum, vaginal walls and pelvic floor heal correctly. Think of it this way, if you break your arm and need to wear a cast for six weeks, do you expect your bicep to be as toned and strong as it was pre-injury? No, so why would you think a vagina feels exactly the same after childbirth?
“You can start to heal your pelvic floor as early as the day after giving birth by doing gentle pelvic floor contractions.”Before you give birth, “the pelvic floor muscles prepare