Despite what our society's narrative may be telling us, sexual pleasure is an essential aspect of our overall well-being.
But it's important to remember, one's sexual pleasure doesn't have to come from a partner or external sources. Masturbation, or stimulation of one's genitals, is a vital aspect of intimacy with oneself and a powerful exploration tool to expand one's sexuality.
Masturbation is an act of self-love that deepens your connection to your body, mind, and spirit. Stemming from Dame's founder and sexologist, Alexandra Fine, our view on masturbation is that it's not just about reaching climax or simply going about your day after a "quickie" (though if that's what you need, by all means).
It's a gateway to understanding what feels good, cultivating confidence, and unlocking the limitless possibilities of your sexuality. At Dame, we aim to support and empower vulva havers with tools and toys so that female masturbation can become a fulfilling and fun practice that becomes part of a regular self-care routine.
Your body is filled with sensitive nerve endings, hidden pleasure spots, and energy centers. When these spots are activated and explored, your body responds and benefits from more than just an orgasm. Regular masturbation offers numerous benefits, including:
1. Stress Relief & Mood Enhancement: Pleasure releases feel-good hormones, including oxytocin, dopamine, and prolactin, that help recharge your mood. Danielle Bezalel from the Sex with DB Podcast conducted an IRB-approved masturbation experiment with a wand vibrator, where she found that during her week of daily use, her stress levels decreased by over 50% and her feelings of happiness increased significantly. Her experience highlights how regular use of pleasure tools like vibrators can have a meaningful impact on mood and emotional well-being.
2. Better Sleep: As we just described, masturbation helps your body release tension, leading to more restful, restorative sleep. If you are looking for a nighttime routine to help you get that solid eight, solo play is the way to go.
3. Improved Sexual Function: The more you explore, the better you understand what stimulates you, resulting in more powerful orgasms. We primarily support this benefit as it helps close the pleasure gap, assisting vulva-havers with an increase in orgasms on a solo basis and with their partners.
4. Body Confidence & Self-Acceptance: Taking time to enjoy your body builds a positive body image and a sense of ownership over your pleasure. This type of confidence expands way beyond your personal space and into the world where you can show up for work, relationships, and pleasure in new and profound ways.
While female masturbation is a completely natural act, sometimes it feels foreign to those who are still working through body issues and their sexual inclinations. Here are a few ways to explore your body with toys and other techniques:
PSA: Rapid orgasms? That's a sign you're doing it right!
For some women, it's been said that they don't like how quickly they come from using a vibrator. But to that we say: having one orgasm doesn't mean the fun has to stop! Your anatomy allows for a series of orgasms, each building on the last. Take your time and extend your session into a few more rounds. Each wave of pleasure makes the whole experience richer, more complete, and far more satisfying than a quick finish.
Whether it's pain during intercourse or difficulty reaching orgasm, it's completely normal to face challenges on your journey to pleasure. The good news is, there are plenty of ways to overcome these obstacles and enjoy a more fulfilling sex life. Start by exploring different types of stimulation with just yourself: clitoral stimulation, anal stimulation, and vaginal stimulation can all offer unique sensations and help you discover what works best for your body.
Whether you are working on receiving your partner's *full* member or you are experiencing the symptoms of vaginismus or dyspareunia, we suggest exploring how dilators can help improve pain. While we provide some answers on painful sex, it's essential always to discuss this type of treatment with your doctor to make sure any solutions you decide are the proper method for you.
Aside from physical barriers, sometimes emotional barriers can cause women to abstain from masturbation, especially when it comes to their partner's awareness and approval. For some heterosexual couples, the stigma of masturbation and solo sex with a vibrator can still be a loaded topic. A subset of men still view the use of a toy and a woman's ability to make themselves orgasm as threatening to their identity.
And for anyone who is in a relationship with a partner who doesn't like your usage of toys... check out this helpful resource.
If you have issues with sexually stimulated wetness, masturbation may sometimes feel difficult or uncomfortable. This is probably the easiest obstacle to overcome, as there are hundreds of options of lubricants, oils, suppositories, and moisturizers specifically designed for the vulva. Whether it's issues with sexual stimulation or perimenopause, or menopause symptoms, products of all kinds can be used to solve the problem of vaginal dryness.
Masturbation is a natural, nourishing way to connect with your body. It can boost your mood, improve sleep, reduce stress, and help you understand what feels good—ultimately promoting your overall well-being and confidence.
Yes, but change is coming! Society has historically imposed shame around female sexuality, but your desire is natural and healthy. Embracing self-pleasure helps you shed guilt and fosters a positive, loving relationship with your body. Many brands and media outlets are starting to promote this narrative, but censorship and shadow banning are still prevalent, hindering the spread of education and understanding.
Begin in a safe, private space where you feel comfortable. Experiment with different techniques—such as clitoral stimulation, exploring the G-spot, or trying temperature play. Use lube to enhance sensations and take your time. Remember, there's no right or wrong way—just follow what feels good for you. Here's a helpful masturbation guide we created if you're still feeling stuck.
Yes, with proper preparation. Use plenty of lube, start slow, and listen to your body's signals. Anal toys with a flared base or a handle are safest to prevent too deep insertion. Many women find anal play enhances pleasure and adds a new dimension to their solo or partnered experiences.
Yes! Many women experience multiple orgasms. The more you practice, the better you'll understand your body's responses, and orgasms can become more intense and achievable with each session. Relax, enjoy, and listen to what your body wants.
Focus on your pleasure and curiosity. Use positive language toward yourself, and recognize masturbation as a natural part of life. Incorporate relaxing routines, like soft lighting or music, and experiment with different techniques to discover what brings you joy.
There's no "correct" frequency. Some women enjoy daily self-care, while others prefer it less often. Listen to your body and go at your own pace. Your pleasure journey is entirely personal.
Absolutely. Every session is a learning experience, and orgasm isn't the only goal. Focus on the sensations, exploring what feels good, and enjoying the process. Over time, your ability to reach orgasm may improve, but pleasure is the ultimate reward.
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