Masturbation is an incredible way to show your body some self love, and while there are several erogenous zones that can offer sexual pleasure, the clitoris often hogs the spotlight. But seeking pleasure or achieving orgasm in masturbation isn’t always as simple as clitoral stimulation to everyone, especially if clitoral stimulation feels hypersensitive or even painful!
Having a sensitive clitoris can feel like a barrier to masturbation, but with a few tips and tricks, divine pleasure is totally achievable.
The anatomy of the clitoris
We know that the clitoris is so much more than just a tiny pleasure powerhouse on the outside of the body. Take a deep dive into the anatomy, you’ll find that the clitoris extends internally into the body, contains erectile tissue and is analogous to the penis in many ways, at least from an anatomical perspective.
This diagram, courtesy of Pelvic Guru, is a great visual of how similar these two organs are. The glans clitoris (the part we can see) is analogous to the head of the penis, and the prepuce, which is a hood that covers the clitoris, is analogous to the foreskin. One of the main differences, however, is that unlike the penis, the clitoris isn’t used for urination because it doesn’t contain a urethra- that’s a separate structure for vulva owners.
We also know that the clitoris is jam packed with nerve endings and can be a major source of sexual pleasure (in fact, that’s its only purpose!). But what happens when this sensation becomes too much? When pleasure turns to discomfort or even pain?
What makes a clitoris hypersensitive?
Every vulva owner will have a different preference of how much clitoral stimulation they want, need or find comfortable. For some, this will involve direction stimulation to the clitoris, using rubbing, stroking or circling, or the use of a mouth or vibrator. But clitoral stimulation alone is certainly not a guarantee for orgasm. Orgasms are complex, and can be influenced by factors such as communication, emotional intimacy, body image and self-esteem, as well as physical factors.
Clitoral hypersensitivity can be influenced by a variety of factors. There are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, and that way they are distributed can vary from person to person. There’s also anatomical variation in the prepuce, the hood that covers the clitoris like a garage door. Ideally, that garage door retracts during times of sexual pleasure, and covers the clitoris at rest. When the prepuce doesn’t return to its neutral position or doesn’t fully cover the clitoris, it can lead to hypersensitivity.
Let’s also make the distinction between a hypersensitive clitoris and a painful clitoris. There are some specific syndromes that can also make a clitoris not only hypersensitive but actually painful to the touch. Clitorodynia is a specific pain syndrome, characterized by soreness or burning in the clitoris. Pudendal neuralgia is another nerve condition involving irritation or damage of the pudendal nerve, which provides sensory innervation around the vulva and motor function to the urethral sphincter and external anal sphincter.
Infection, inflammatory conditions or direct trauma to the vulva (think cycling or horseback riding) can also contribute to clitoral pain. Lastly, hormone changes, especially lower estrogen due to menopause, breastfeeding or some types of birth control pills can atrophy tissue around the vulva, making the tissue smaller and thinner. This can make friction around this sensitive area more uncomfortable.
Strategies for masturbating with hypersensitive clitoris
But what if you do prefer some level of clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, but direct contact isn’t comfortable? What are your other options?
- Use clothing as a barrier between you and your clitoris! Instead of direct contact over bare skin, try touching yourself over underwear, or even over your pants. Different materials will feel different, so play around with cotton or silk to see what feels best for you and your body. Rubbing or stroking with your fingers or a vibrator can still help provide stimulation, but with a barrier to avoid too much
- Give Dame’s Aer toy a try. It forms suction around, but doesn’t directly contact he clitoris, and stimulates your body with rhythmic pulses of air.
- Recall the that clitoris extends internally as well, and it can feel good to stroke around the clitoris and vulva, too
- Use your own anatomy to create a barrier. You can push the prepuce down over the top of the clitoris by making a V-shape with your index and middle finger, and pushing the skin above the clitoris downward. Depending on the size and flexiblity of your labia majora, you can pull the labia over the clitoris while you masturbate.
- Lube isn’t just for sex- it’s for masturbation, too! Unlike the vagina, the clitoris does not produce its own lubricant. Using a high-quality lube can reduce friction over this senstive tissue.
- Some lubricants or topical creams prescribed by a professional can contain numbing agents, which can decrease the sensitivity of the clitoris. If the above strategies aren’t effective, consult with a healthcare professional about other options.
Don’t sleep on the G-spot
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again- orgasms are complex! Many other erogenous zones can be useful for pleasure and contribute to helping someone reach orgasm. Don’t sleep on the G-spot as a pleasure providing zone. The G-spot is controversial, but in short, it’s a sensitive zone near the urethra on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. You can reach the G-spot by inserting fingers vaginally and making a ‘come hither’ motion. Psst- Dame’s Arc vibrator is designed perfectly to hit it.
One of the best things about masturbation is it’s all about you- you are in total control of what you like, want and need to make your body feel amazing. Even with a hypersensitive clitoris, there are many ways to provoke sexual pleasure and/or achieve orgasm. Take time to explore what feels right for your body and you’ll be well rewarded on your pleasure journey.