While sex can be amazing on its own, think of sex toys as more tools in your toolbox. Different toys fulfill different desires, and they all can be part of your pleasure arsenal to maximize meeting your needs. But hold up- where do you even start? What’s the difference between a wand and a bullet? The world of sex toys can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Understanding how and where toys are meant to be used (the possibilities are endless!) can help you better select the ideal sex toy for you.
A few pointers on toys before we get started…
- Use lube with your toys!
- Make sure to clean your toys well between uses
- Consider if you’d like to use a condom on them
- Toys can be work for all genders and all parts
Types of toys
Bullet, g-spot, dildo, oh my! Let’s dive into the wide wide world of different types of sex toys.
External toys
- Pulse and suction toys, like the Aer, are amazing for clitoral stimulation. The toy creates a suction seal around the clitoris and blows puffs of air, in a similar way to oral sex. They can also be a great option for folks with hypersensitive clitorises because they don’t directly contact the clitoris.
- Flexible vibrators, like Pom, offer significant versatility. If you prefer more direct contact with the clitoris, go for it, but this handheld wonder can be used allll over the body- think nipples, scrotum, penis, anywhere vibration might feel good
- Finger vibrators, like Fin, slip over your finger of choice like a ring (or can be used without a tether), and can be a great option if dexterity is an issue or holding a vibrator fatigues your hand. Like the Pom, its versatility is unmatched and it can be used all over the body
- Ditch the hands all together and use a hands-free vibrator like Eva. The wings of Eva are designed to tuck into the labia and provide clitoral stimulation, as well as stimulation for your partner. This is an excellent choice for penetrative sex. Bonus: it frees up both of your hands to do… other things!
- The tiny but mighty bullet vibrator, Zee, has been around for ages. Bullet vibrators are simple, discreet and especially portable, making them a great choice for traveling
- Wand vibrators like Com are really the OG vibrators, and have been around for decades. They are large and in charge, more rumbly than buzzy, and provide more broad stimulation than some of the smaller options
- For penis owners, cock rings can help to maintain a firmer erection. Erections are partially supported by pelvic floor muscles and partially by increased blood flow to the penis. Cock rings restrict blood flow from leaving the penis, leading to a harder erection
Internal toys
- A G-spot vibrator like Arc has the curvature you need to hit this pleasure powerhouse. Don’t forget to brush up on your G-spot anatomy!
- Dildos are simple, basic penetrative toys that do not vibrate. They’re usually shaped phallically, and can be made from multiple materials, such as metal, glass, silicone or plastic
- Butt plugs are for anal stimulation and cone-shaped, and for good reason- the pull from the anal sphincters can create powerful suction. Ending your night with an ER visit can be a real buzzkill, so please choose toys specifically designed for this area
Internal and external toys
- Rabbit vibrators have two parts, with a phallic part going internally and vibrating ‘ears’ designed to sit externally and stimulate the clitoris. They gained significant popularity after they were featured in a Sex and the City episode in 1998. For vulva owners, it offers both simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation
- An internal/external vibrator like the Dip is like the Swiss army knife of your sex toys. It’s big enough to hold in your hand but not too big, and features a rigid tip for focus stimulation
How to use a sex toy
TL; DR: however you want to! Let’s throw the rule book out the window. There’s no sex toy police that governs how you can use your toys. A pulse and suction toy, like Aer, can feel great on the nipples instead of the clitoris, or you may find Com to be better for a full body massager.
- Self stimulation: If you’re solo, a sex toy can definitely get the job done and bring you to orgasm- quickly. Sex toys often get paired down to exclusive use during masturbation, but they’re so much more versatile than that!
- With a partner for mutual masturbation: play together but separately! This option allows you and your partner to choose the toy that works best for you and your body
- With a partner during sex: sex toys can be an amazing adjunct to penetrative sex. Eva can be a great hands-free option, Pom can bring the pleasure during foreplay, and a wearable option like Fin can take touch to the next level
- Think outside the box: toys certainly don’t have to be limited to the genitals. Other erogenous zones can be a great place to use toys. Pay attention on what feels good for yourself, and/or communicate with your partner on what feels pleasurable for them
How toys can enhance pleasure
- Enhancing touch: Without nerding out too much here, your skin has different types of touch receptors. Some of those receptors are sensitive to light touch, others to vibration, temperature or deep pressure. Using your hands and your mouth can activate some of these receptors, but adding in vibration can take you to a whole new level of pleasure.
- Explore what you like: Toys offer a new level of sexual novelty that you can’t get without them. They allow you to do more things, and get more in touch with yourself to see what you like.
- More orgasms, more benefits: Using a sex toy is more bang for your buck, especially when you’re short on time. Sex toys can make it significantly easier for some folks to achieve orgasm, and often faster than manual stimulation alone. And let’s recall that orgasms are associated with a whole lot of benefits, like improving sleep quality, reducing stress, and releasing oxytocin and endorphins. More orgasms = better life!
Rather than viewing the world of sex toys as daunting, view it as an adventure and a deeper dive into discovering how you can best enhance your pleasure.
