By Gigi Engle
Upping your oral sex game with a vibrator? This may sound absurd to you if you’ve only recently figured out how to give someone orgasms through oral, or have recently started having them yourself. But, once you get into the swing of things, it’s perfectly OK to take off the training wheels and explore other ways to expand your (or your partner’s) skills. Encouraged, even.
When it comes to cunnilingus (one of my favorite words), the go-to advice is to find the clitoris and stay there like your life depends on it.
Now, don’t get me wrong here, the clitoris is extremely important, but licking it (and just it) is not the only way to perform oral sex. You trust your vibrator for solo orgasms, why couldn’t it be a part of partner play?
“With so much variety in pleasure sensation from person to person, adding a vibe to oral sex could really send a partner over the top. I see it as an ascending trajectory, with gentle, indirect stimulation,” says Dr. Laura Deitsch, resident sexologist of Vibrant, Planned Parenthood's sex toy e-tailer.
If you’re staring at your screen wondering: Wait. How do I do this? Oral sex with vibrators? Tell me more! We have you covered.
Vibration in all its majesty
Female-bodied people (for the most part), love oral sex because of the attention paid to the clitoris and focus of the sexual act being entirely on them. Not every person likes oral sex, but the big draws for those who do are the textures, patterns, and varied motions one can do with a tongue (and lips).
A vibrator is a totally different experience. “Vibration is a sensation that our bodies can’t naturally create,” says Lisa Finn, brand manager and sex educator with Babeland and Good Vibrations.
The clitoris responds to vibration, hence why most of us have our favorite toy in the nightstand within reach. Finn says that combining your mouth and hands with your trusty vibe, “can really create a triple-threat of pleasure.”
The clitoris, en totale
Hold up, let’s quickly talk about the clitoris and how it plays into oral sex. It’s far more expansive than you might realize. While sex advice articles across the world will advise “sticking to the clitoris,” this can be a bit misleading. When they say “stick to the clit,” what they are referring to is the little rose-bud at the top of vulva.
This is not where the clitoris ends. It extends internally down the labia and into the abdomen with wing-like legs and bulbs. Often up to five whole inches! Thus, the rest of the clitoris should not be ignored during oral.
Ok. Moving on.
Stimulate the whole clitoris with a vibrator and tongue combo
Being a champion head-giver is always a plus. Knowing how to up your game and deliver insanely powerful orgasms? Well, that is priceless.
“Try using a stronger or rumblier vibrator against the labia. Those vibrations will penetrate deep into the body to stimulate the clitoral legs, while you focus on the head of the clit with a tongue,” Finn says.
The result is all over, deeper pleasure combined with the pinpointed intensity of your tongue (or your partner’s tongue) on the clit. It may sound a bit … complex, but it’s actually quite simple once you get the hang of it. Practice makes perfect.
The mons prerogative
The mons pubis is not a regularly scheduled part of the sexual play program, but it should be. What is the mons? It’s the squishy patch of tissue that protects the vulva; the place where most of your pubic hair grows. This outer portion of the vulva is actually quite sensitive and can be used to greatly increase arousal during oral sex.
Deitsch says to start with straight up oral sex. That is, your tongue (or partner's tongue) on the clitoris. Get your partner warmed up. Then, grab that vibe!
“Touch the tip of the tongue to the clit, and hold still. Move the toy down so the vibrations are felt while the tongue is resting,” she says. “Slowly lick up and down the clit, occasionally dropping down to the opening and labia, and move the vibe over the clitoral hood.”
For this type of stimulation, we love a classic wand vibrator or Pom, which is perfectly contoured to match the grooves of your hand, making resting upon the mons quite straightforward.
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All and all, a vibrator is a beautiful addition to the oral experience.
“Think of the vibe as salt in soup,” Deitsch says. “Oral without it is nice and satisfying, but salt adds the punch that makes it great. Add a little at a time, checking for pleasure and intensity, and move things around to keep it unpredictable. Start at the mons with the vibe, or down by the anal opening. Those vibrations will travel and create a slow tease. Combine different intensities, placements and touch of tongue, vibe and hands.”
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