Valentine’s Day Sex: Best Ideas, Positions, & Toys

Written by: Alexandra Fine

Valentine’s Day sex doesn’t have to look like a movie scene. It doesn’t have to involve rose petals, lingerie you’ll never wear again, or pressure to have the “best night ever.” And it definitely doesn’t have to be performative.

At its core, Valentine’s Day is a day about love — and love includes pleasure. Love includes feeling good in your body. Love includes connection, curiosity, and taking time to prioritize what you actually want. So whether you’re planning a romantic night with a partner, treating yourself to some much-deserved solo pleasure, or just looking for fresh inspiration, consider this your permission slip.

Valentine’s Day sex can be sweet, spicy, playful, low-key, toy-enhanced, totally solo, deeply partnered (or all of the above). Below, we’re sharing our favorite Valentine’s Day sex ideas, positions, and toys to help you celebrate the day of love in the most important way: by focusing on pleasure.

The Importance of Pleasure on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is often framed as a day for couples, but pleasure isn’t just something you “give” someone else. Pleasure is something you embody, cultivate, and of course, deserve.

Pleasure is:

• A way to feel connected to yourself
• A way to deepen intimacy with a partner
• A way to reduce stress and increase joy
• A way to celebrate your body without judgment

And the truth is, pleasure doesn’t need a relationship status.

Whether you’re in a long-term partnership, casually dating, single, or somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day can be a moment to check in with what feels good — emotionally and physically.

This holiday doesn’t have to be about doing something extravagant. It can be about doing something intentional. Sometimes, the sexiest thing you can do is slow down and come back to you.

Best Sex Ideas for Valentine’s Day (That Don’t Feel Like a Script)

If you want Valentine’s Day sex to feel special, the goal isn’t to reinvent the wheel: it’s to bring presence, play, and pleasure into the experience. Here are some ideas that work whether you’re partnered or solo.

Make It About Anticipation

Foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom. Try building anticipation earlier in the day:

• Send a flirty text
• Share what you’re craving tonight
• Plan something small but intentional (music, lighting, a shower together)

Anticipation is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy and it makes everything feel more charged.

Take Performance Off the Table

Valentine’s Day can create pressure: We should have amazing sex tonight. Instead, try this mindset shift: The goal isn’t an outcome, it’s the pleasure that comes from being fully present, in your body, and savoring this moment of connection.

That might mean:

• Slower touch
• More laughter
• Less focus on “finishing”
• More focus on enjoying

Try a “Yes, No, Maybe” Conversation

Want a simple way to spark something new? Ask each other (or yourself):

• What’s a “yes” right now?
• What’s a “no”?
• What’s a “maybe” worth exploring?

It’s intimate, low-pressure, and can open up new possibilities without forcing anything.

Bring in a Toy (Even If You Never Have Before)

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to try something new and sex toys are one of the easiest ways to add novelty and sensation.

Toys aren’t a replacement for anyone. They’re a tool for more pleasure, more connection, and more fun. (We’ll get into favorites below.)