Alexandra Fine is the co-founder and CEO of Dame, a pioneering sexual wellness company known for its innovative products and mission to close the pleasure gap. Recognized in Forbes’ 30 Under 30 2018, Alexandra leads Dame in designing user-centered tools that enhance intimacy, receiving acclaim from major outlets like The New York Times and Wired. Under her leadership, Dame Products has become a leader in the sexual wellness industry, raised over $14M in capital, and launched in Target and Walmart, all while advocating for women's health and breaking barriers in advertising.
Edie Elliott Granger
Editor & content strategist
3+ years of experience
Sexual wellnessOrgasm sciencePleasure education
Edie Elliott Granger is Dame's editor and content strategist specializing in sexual wellness, pleasure education, and accessible health information. She helps shape editorial content at Dame, translating research, expert insights, and cultural conversations into clear, approachable resources. With a background in sex education, her work focuses on making conversations around sex, bodies, and pleasure more informed, inclusive, and stigma-free.
Written by: Alexandra Fine
Valentine’s Day sex doesn’t have to look like a movie scene. It doesn’t have to involve rose petals, lingerie you’ll never wear again, or pressure to have the “best night ever.” And it definitely doesn’t have to be performative.
At its core, Valentine’s Day is a day about love — and love includes pleasure. Love includes feeling good in your body. Love includes connection, curiosity, and taking time to prioritize what you actually want. So whether you’re planning a romantic night with a partner, treating yourself to some much-deserved solo pleasure, or just looking for fresh inspiration, consider this your permission slip.
Valentine’s Day sex can be sweet, spicy, playful, low-key, toy-enhanced, totally solo, deeply partnered (or all of the above). Below, we’re sharing our favorite Valentine’s Day sex ideas, positions, and toys to help you celebrate the day of love in the most important way: by focusing on pleasure.
The Importance of Pleasure on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is often framed as a day for couples, but pleasure isn’t just something you “give” someone else. Pleasure is something you embody, cultivate, and of course, deserve.
Pleasure is:
A way to feel connected to yourself
A way to deepen intimacy with a partner
A way to reduce stress and increase joy
A way to celebrate your body without judgment
And the truth is, pleasure doesn’t need a relationship status.
Whether you’re in a long-term partnership, casually dating, single, or somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day can be a moment to check in with what feels good — emotionally and physically.
This holiday doesn’t have to be about doing something extravagant. It can be about doing something intentional. Sometimes, the sexiest thing you can do is slow down and come back to you.
Best Sex Ideas for Valentine’s Day (That Don’t Feel Like a Script)
If you want Valentine’s Day sex to feel special, the goal isn’t to reinvent the wheel: it’s to bring presence, play, and pleasure into the experience. Here are some ideas that work whether you’re partnered or solo.
Make It About Anticipation
Foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom. Try building anticipation earlier in the day:
Send a flirty text
Share what you’re craving tonight
Plan something small but intentional (music, lighting, a shower together)
Anticipation is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy and it makes everything feel more charged.
Take Performance Off the Table
Valentine’s Day can create pressure: We should have amazing sex tonight. Instead, try this mindset shift: The goal isn’t an outcome, it’s the pleasure that comes from being fully present, in your body, and savoring this moment of connection.
That might mean:
Slower touch
More laughter
Less focus on “finishing”
More focus on enjoying
Try a “Yes, No, Maybe” Conversation
Want a simple way to spark something new? Ask each other (or yourself):
What’s a “yes” right now?
What’s a “no”?
What’s a “maybe” worth exploring?
It’s intimate, low-pressure, and can open up new possibilities without forcing anything.
Bring in a Toy (Even If You Never Have Before)
Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to try something new and sex toys are one of the easiest ways to add novelty and sensation.
Toys aren’t a replacement for anyone. They’re a tool for more pleasure, more connection, and more fun. (We’ll get into favorites below.)
More reasons to scream.
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Plan a Pleasure Date — Not Just a Sex Date
Sometimes the most erotic thing is feeling cared for. Try making the night about sensuality, not just sex:
Valentine’s Day sex doesn’t require a partner. In fact, solo pleasure might be one of the most romantic things you can do for yourself because it’s about attention, care, and self-love.
Here are a few solo Valentine’s Day sex ideas:
Create a Sensory Ritual
Set the mood like you would for someone else:
Dim lighting
A playlist that makes you feel something
Cozy sheets
Time without distractions
Solo sex doesn’t have to be rushed. Let it be indulgent.
Explore Something New
Valentine’s Day is a great time to experiment with:
A new toy
A different rhythm or sensation
Erotica or audio
Touching somewhere you usually skip
Curiosity is sexy.
Prioritize Pleasure Without Pressure
Solo sex isn’t about “getting it done.” It’s about feeling good. Slow down. Stay present. Let it be a celebration.
Valentine’s Day Sex Ideas for Couples (Connection Included)
Whether you’ve been together for years or you’re in something brand new, Valentine’s Day sex can be a chance to reconnect.
Try “Eye Contact Intimacy”
It sounds simple — but it’s powerful. Spend a few minutes kissing or touching while maintaining eye contact. It says: I’m here with you.
Switch Up the Setting
You don’t need a hotel room, just a change of scenery:
Living room floor
Kitchen counter
Shower
A different bedroom
Novelty can spark desire and make everything feel more exciting.
Make Room for Play
Sex doesn’t have to be serious. Try laughing, talking, trying something silly, and being imperfect. Play is intimacy.
Remarkably quiet. So you can be the one making the noise.
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Valentine’s Day Sex Positions (Solo & Partnered)
Let’s talk about positions and not in a “gymnastics required” way, but in a pleasure-first way. These are approachable, comfortable, and toy-friendly.
Side-by-Side or Spooning (Partnered)
Perfect for closeness and slow connection. Side-by-side positions allow:
Eye contact
Easy kissing
Gentle pacing
Bonus: great for adding a vibrator externally.
Elevated Missionary (Partnered)
Place a sex pillow under hips for a subtle angle shift. This can increase comfort and sensation without changing everything.
Solo Recline (Solo)
Lying back with support under your knees is one of the best solo positions for relaxation and exploration — especially with a toy or vibrator.
Valentine’s Day Sex Toys (Favorites for Solo or Couples Play)
Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion to explore sex toys and try something new. Whether you’re shopping for yourself, a partner, or something to share, here are Dame favorites for every vibe.
Designed specifically for partnered sex, Eva is a wearable vibrator that stays in place during intimacy, meaning both partners can enjoy added sensation without anyone holding anything.
It’s a favorite for couples who want hands-free vibration, more shared pleasure, and something that enhances (not interrupts). It’s like teamwork, but sexier.
The Best Valentine’s Day Sex Is the Kind That Feels Good
Valentine’s Day sex isn’t about checking a box.
It’s about feeling connected, prioritizing pleasure, trying something new (or savoring something familiar), and celebrating love — for someone else or yourself.
So whether your night includes candles and toys, a new location, a solo session, or just a deeper conversation about desire, let it be yours. Let it be juicy. Let it be full of Os.
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A: A vibrator is a powerful and versatile personal pleasure device that creates vibrations to stimulate various sensitive areas of your body, like the clitoris and G-spot. They come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and features, so there's something for everyone.
Vibrators can be used on almost any erogenous zone, offering unique sensations that can boost your pleasure and help you discover what feels amazing. Some are designed to mimic penetration, while others focus on external stimulation to give you an unforgettable experience.
Did you know that fewer than 20% of vulva-owner can climax solely with vaginal stimulation or intercourse? This is why vibrators have been growing in popularity, and why companies like Dame are dedicated to amplifying the conversation of closing the pleasure gap.
A: Using a vibrator can enhance your pleasure significantly, but where you use them differs based on preference and if you are a vulva or penis owner. Begin by selecting a comfortable and private space where you feel at ease. If desired, use sex toy-safe lubrication, as this will enhance sensations and reduce friction. Turn on your vibrator (usually a button on the opposite end of the "head"), and explore different settings or intensities using the buttons provided on the device and gradually finding what feels best for you.
For an additional step-by-step guide, check out detailed instructions here, which talk about insights on techniques, positioning, and tips for maximum pleasure.
A: There are numerous types of vibrators, each designed for various forms of stimulation:
Clit Vibrator: These are specifically shaped to target the clitoris, often with a compact and discreet design for ease of use.
G-spot Vibrator: Typically curved, these vibrators are designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot, providing deeper sensations during penetration.
Finger Vibrator: Small and often worn on the fingertip, these offer precise control and are perfect for targeted stimulation.
Couples Vibrator: Designed to be worn during intercourse, they provide simultaneous pleasure by stimulating both partners.
Vibrating Cock Ring: Worn around the base of the penis, these enhance sensations for both partners during sex and can help with stamina.
Suction Vibrator: These use suction air-pulse technology to create a unique sensation for the clitoris, often simulating oral stimulation.
Wand Vibrator: Known for its powerful motors and larger size, these versatile devices can be used all over the body for broad-based pleasure.
Bullet Vibrator: Compact and portable and designed for targeted stimulation and are perfect for both solo and partnered play.
A: Yes! Dame vibrators are designed to be waterproof, making them suitable for use in the bath or shower. They also come with rechargeable batteries, eliminating the need for disposable batteries and ensuring long-lasting pleasure. Most can be charged via USB, making it easy to keep them ready for when the mood strikes.
A: Dame vibrators are touted for their whisper-quiet motors, designed to pleasure without drawing attention or distracting during intimate moments. If you're looking for a discreet vibrator, try looking for something smaller in size, like a bullet vibrator.
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