Six Meditation and Breathwork Techniques to Try Together

How often have you looked at your partner mid-disagreement and thought, “why can’t you just see it from my side?” Maybe in the thick of day-to-day living you’ve wondered something to the effect of, “do they really understand me?” If your partner actually made the effort to better understand you then your relationship could be the stuff of modern #couplegoals. If not, trying meditation together might just be the answer to get you back in sync. Relationships are our biggest mirrors. They reflect back our self-worth, confidence, insecurities and patterns as opportunities to heal and grow. It’s an invitation to connect with and deeply understand each other, and in turn, to better understand ourselves. It’s easy to believe thoughts and feelings are important when they surface within us — surely they’re a sign! — but that’s the moment we need to be the most curious. Meditation helps us to create a pause for that curiosity. Partners can build a healthy, healing container within the relationship using this mind and body practice. We take notice of the internal stories we identify with, as well as our reactions to these stories. Deepening this self awareness and compassion empowers us to share that understanding with our partner. Getting curious instead of furious invites us into better communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy in our relationship.

When we each commit to taking the reins of our individual joy, through meditation or other avenues, our relationship can mirror and multiply it!

Awareness is like any muscle we’re working out: we need a consistent meditation practice that meets our needs and feels like a real benefit to our lives. Your partnered meditation can look like meditating together in a shared space. It can also look like meditating in adjoining spaces. A sense of togetherness is your aim. Invite your partner to dip their toe, or dive headfirst, with you into meditation and breathing techniques to build a healthier and happier connection:

Synchronizing Breath:

1. Sit back-to-back with your partner.
2. Notice your breath moving in and out. Is it long or short? Full or shallow?
3. Notice the pattern of your partner’s breath.
4. Sync your breath with your partner’s. How does it feel to breathe together?
5. After 1-2 minutes, inhale for a 5 count, hold the breath for 5 count, and exhale for 7 count. Repeat 10 times.
6. Feel into this shared presence with your partner. Do you feel tension in your body? Do you feel connected with your partner?

Alternating Breath:

1. Sit next to or across from your partner.
2. Notice your breath and any sensations in the body. What asks to be noticed?
3. Sync your breath with your partner’s.
4. Cover your left nostril with your thumb and inhale for a 4 count together.
5. Hold the breath for a 7 count.
6. Cover your right nostril with your thumb and exhale for an 8 count.
7. Inhale from your right nostril for a 4 count. Hold. Exhale from the left nostril. Repeat 10 times.
8. Notice the sensations in the body. Do you feel a difference in your body? Do you notice a difference in your partner?

Expanding Love:

1. Sit next to or across from your partner.
2. Close your eyes and feel into any sensations in your body. What do you notice?
3. Bring attention to your breath.
4. Notice your partner’s breath.
5. Sync your breath with your partner’s. How does your shared rhythm feel?
6. Reflect on appreciation and love for your partner. Take 10 deep breaths together, expanding love with each inhale and expelling tension with each exhale.
7. Hold this feeling in your body. Gently open your eyes and gaze at your partner. What asks to be felt? What do you notice about them?

Extra and Open Attention:

1. Sit next to or across from your partner.
2. Relax your eyes.
3. Notice your breath.
4. Place your attention on the living sensations in your hands. Keep your attention there for a few minutes. Is it tingly or prickly? Is it strong or faint?
5. Keep your attention on those sensations as you take your partner’s hand(s) in yours. What do you notice in your hands? What do you notice about theirs?

*Extra (fun) homework: place attention on your hands while sharing in daily tasks together like enjoying a cup of coffee or cooking a meal. It’s a great way to stay present with your partner.

Mindful Touching:

1. Sit across from your partner.
2. Take 10 deep breaths together to center.
3. Hold each other’s hands and feel into the sensation. Do you feel present? Do you feel connected?
4. Gently and slowly touch your partner’s body, starting with their head and moving down. Really connect with each part and the sensation that arises. Does this touch feel different? Do you notice anything new?
5. Return to holding hands and send a feeling of gratitude towards them.

Naked Meditation:

1. Sit across from your partner naked.
2. Take 10 deep breaths together to center.
3. Focus on being present with your partner.
4. Gently and intentionally explore your partner’s body. Touch them as if it’s a new experience with them.
5. Relax into this vulnerability and connection with your partner. Where do you feel it in your body? Does it have a shape or color?

* If this leads to sex, use your breath to stay present in your body and with your partner. Imagine looking at your partner mid-disagreement and thinking, “let’s build a bridge of understanding from here.” Imagine when fears of being misunderstood creep up that we ask ourselves, “do I know where these come from?” Then take it a step further, “does my partner feel understood by me?” Now imagine your partner toying with these very same thoughts and feelings. What might happen if your relationship felt connected and safe enough to share these vulnerabilities? Thoughts and feelings are as powerful as we choose to identify with them. When we each commit to taking the reins of our individual joy, through meditation or other avenues, our relationship can mirror and multiply it!