✨ Com one, Com all! Meet Com, our new wand ✨
Sexual Wellness

6 Tips On How To Use A Vibrator on a Penis

| 12/06/2021

abstract shapes representing gender neutral sex toys Illustration by Sophi Gullbrants

You’re not alone if you think that vibrations are mostly for vulvas.

While vibrators are certainly orgasmic when applied to the clitoris, vagina, and surrounding areas, there’s something many people overlook:

Vibrations feel good for penis-owners, too. 

I’m not just talking about the prostate. While that can be a great time in itself, using a vibrator on a penis opens up whole new avenues of pleasure. 

A lot of penis-havers don’t even think about it. It’s all about the stroking, right? In-out, in-out. Don’t shake it all about. 

But someone who’s never explored the fun they can have with vibrators and a penis is missing out on some incredible pleasure. 

What’s hotter than using a vibrator yourself? 

Having someone else use one on you, of course. Here you’ll find some useful tips on how to get started. 

6 Tips for Using a Vibrator on a Penis 

#1 – Talk First

Consent is sexy. We know this. 

Before you go anywhere near your partner with a buzzing toy, talk to them about it. Ask them if they want you to use a vibrator on them for a change. A lot of penis-havers are curious about using vibrators for their pleasure so that you might get an enthusiastic “Yes!” 

If they’re more hesitant, you might have to pitch the idea. Let them know that it might help you both discover more pleasure points, even the ones your partner didn’t know about: 

“Introducing a vibrator into your sex life empowers your partner to explore pleasure zones they never knew existed. This allows them to be more honest and open about what they want,” writes sex therapist Aliyah Moore. “Men who experiment with vibrators gain a better appreciation that sex toys are not just for women but men too.”

#2 – Choose the Right Tool for the Job 

“We often think of vibrators as just for people with vulvas, but they can actually work some pretty orgasmic magic on penises, too,” says Tara Struyk, co-founder of Kinkly.com. “You can take any vibrator and experiment with using it on the testicles, shaft of the penis, and frenulum (the underside of the head of the penis), but there are also more and more vibrators being designed just for penises.”

Dedicated penis vibrators are becoming more popular, but you can also use what you already have. 

Bullet vibrators are easy to use and versatile. You can place the tip against the frenulum, run it all across the skin, and get creative! 

Wand massagers will do the job – and they pack some power. You can give a full-body massage that leads to orgasm.

A clit sucker will work too. The tapping sensation on the frenulum and shaft can drive someone crazy. Or, for broader stimulation, try something more flexible

Whatever kind of vibrator you use, there’s a way to make it work. Just make sure it’s made of body-safe materials. 

#3 – Play Around the Playground

As a rule of thumb, when using a vibrator on a penis, treat the penis like you would treat a clitoris. You wouldn’t shove it full-power onto yourself, so follow the same wisdom and take it slow. Tease them with it. 

Focus on the body as a whole first. Stroke the nipples with a lower setting or all around the torso. Once you get a sensual rhythm going it can really help set the mood for what’s to come. 

Then get closer to the main event by running it delicately around the pelvis.

Vibrators are fantastic teasing toys, and a lot of people like being teased. It’s the slow build-up that helps make the later activities more intense. 

Ashton Egner from Kiiroo adds to this: 

“Since everybody’s body is different, you don’t know how your partner will react when you bring a vibrator into the bedroom. It might even be better to start touching them with your fingers or hands before you move the vibrator to a specific spot. 

Once you’ve found the pleasure settings they enjoy, then you can start to explore the different types of vibrators and the different types of sensations and/or orgasms they give.”

#4 – Make Your Mouth Vibrate

Pressing a vibrator against the bottom of your chin will make your mouth and tongue vibrate. Just when your partner thought oral sex couldn’t get any better – it just did. 

Alternatively, you can press the vibrator against the penis shaft, balls, or perineum to get the same effect (But if you do it that way, you miss out on the silly robot voice!)

Whichever way you choose, you’re adding another dimension to foreplay that should intensify your play. 

#5 – Focus in on Key Pleasure Areas

First things first, apply some lube. Friction is not your friend here. As anyone who’s tried penetration without adequate lubrication can attest, there are few things more uncomfortable than a dry sex toy.

So, get some nice water-based lube on there before you do anything else. 

You’re both all worked up thanks to your teasing and vibrating oral skills, so it’s time to focus on erogenous zones. 

One of the best areas to focus on is the frenulum, the narrow elastic bit of tissue that runs between the penis shaft and the head. It’s highly erogenous and very sensitive to vibration, with a little patience. 

At first, they might say it doesn’t feel like much. Try to stick with it. The sensations take time to build up, but they’ll be on cloud nine once they get going. And if you’ve never tried frenulum play before, you’re in for a big surprise! 

The testicles are another good spot to focus on, although this varies a lot between people. Some love the feeling of vibrations there, while others are ticklish and will hate it. So again, you should ask beforehand and be very gentle at first. Going in too hard on the testicles can be overstimulating. 

As a clinical psychologist and sex expert, Dr. Laurie Betito writes, “Using a vibrator on any part of the body actually can be stimulating. But if you want to drive him wild, apply the vibrator, with a little bit of pressure in the area between his butt hole and his testicles (the perineum). This is a great way to stimulate the prostate gland from the outside.”

It might even open up the door for exploring prostate play if they like it. 

#6 – Remember – You’re Exploring 

A vital part of the whole process is to keep communicating. Not just before you start but throughout. You’re exploring, and the only way to know what works best for you both is to observe your reactions and keep talking. 

Ask questions like “do you like it here?”, “Harder or softer?”, “How does that feel?” etc. 

It makes them feel cared for, it’s sexy, and you learn more about your partner’s body and what makes them feel good. 

If that sounds like a lot to think about, you do have a cheat code. If you’ve ever used a vibrator yourself or had one used on you, that’s a wealth of useful information. Erogenous zones are pretty similar, whatever your identity or genitalia look like. So if something turns you on, there’s a pretty good chance they’ll like it too. 

It’s also important to remember you’re trying to make them feel good,  not “finish” as quickly as possible, so take your time and have fun. 

In Conclusion… Be Safe 

One more thing: clean up after yourselves and be safe at all times! 

If you normally use condoms during sex, then don’t forget STIs can be transmitted by vibrators. So if you’re taking turns using the same toy on each other, you have to clean it between uses or put a condom over the top of the vibrator where it makes contact with you. 

Want more Dame?

Get more like this, straight to your inbox.