Vibrators often come with the misconception that they’re only for people with vulvas, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. While they’re commonly associated with clitoral stimulation, vibrators can offer incredible, intense pleasure for penis-havers as well. Whether you’re looking to explore solo play or enhance partner intimacy, a vibrator can be a game-changer for sensations and satisfaction.
In this guide, we’ll break down how to introduce vibrators into your sex life, share tips for using them on a penis, and explore the many ways they can amplify your pleasure.
Whether you’re new to vibrators or just curious about their versatility, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in!
Why You Should Use a Vibrator as a Man or Someone With a Penis
Incorporating a vibrator into your routine can be a game-changer, whether for solo play, partner play, or enhancing overall sexual health. Here’s why it’s worth exploring:
- Supports Erectile Health: The vibrations may help increase blood flow, which could support those experiencing erectile difficulties.
- Addresses Delayed Ejaculation: Regular use may assist in overcoming delayed ejaculation by stimulating nerve endings in new ways.
- Boosts Sexual Confidence: Exploring new sensations and techniques can help you feel more confident and in tune with your body.
- Enhances Sexual Wellness: Vibrators promote sexual wellness by encouraging exploration, relaxation, and improved connection with your partner.
6 Tips for Using a Vibrator on a Penis
-
Consent is sexy: We know this. Before you go anywhere near your partner with a buzzing toy, talk to them about it. Ask them if they want you to use a vibrator on them for a change. A lot of penis-havers are curious about using vibrators for their pleasure so that you might get an enthusiastic “Yes!”. If they’re more hesitant, you might have to pitch the idea. Let them know that it might help you both discover more pleasure points, even the ones your partner didn’t know about: “Introducing a vibrator into your sex life empowers your partner to explore pleasure zones they never knew existed. This allows them to be more honest and open about what they want,” writes sex therapist Aliyah Moore. “Men who experiment with vibrators gain a better appreciation that sex toys are not just for women but men too."
-
Choose the Right Tool for the Job: “We often think of vibrators as just for people with vulvas, but they can actually work some pretty orgasmic magic on penises, too,” says Tara Struyk, co-founder of Kinkly.com. “You can take any vibrator and experiment with using it on the testicles, shaft of the penis, and frenulum (the underside of the head of the penis), but there are also more and more vibrators being designed just for penises.” Dedicated penis vibrators are becoming more popular, but you can also use what you already have. Bullet vibrators are easy to use and versatile. You can place the tip against the frenulum, run it all across the skin, and get creative! Wand massagers will do the job - and they pack some power. You can give a full-body massage that leads to orgasm. A clit sucker will work too. The tapping sensation on the frenulum and shaft can drive someone crazy. Or, for broader stimulation, try something more flexible. Whatever kind of vibrator you use, there’s a way to make it work. Just make sure it’s made of body-safe materials.
-
Play Around the Playground: As a rule of thumb, when using a vibrator on a penis, treat the penis like you would treat a clitoris. You wouldn’t shove it full-power onto yourself, so follow the same wisdom and take it slow. Tease them with it. Focus on the body as a whole first. Stroke the nipples with a lower setting or all around the torso. Once you get a sensual rhythm going it can really help set the mood for what’s to come. Then get closer to the main event by running it delicately around the pelvis. Ashton Egner from Kiiroo adds to this: "Since everybody's body is different, you don’t know how your partner will react when you bring a vibrator into the bedroom. It might even be better to start touching them with your fingers or hands before you move the vibrator to a specific spot. Once you’ve found the pleasure settings they enjoy, then you can start to explore the different types of vibrators and the different types of sensations and/or orgasms they give."
-
Make Your Mouth Vibrate: Pressing a vibrator against the bottom of your chin will make your mouth and tongue vibrate. Just when your partner thought oral sex couldn’t get any better - it just did. Alternatively, you can press the vibrator against the penis shaft, balls, or perineum to get the same effect (But if you do it that way, you miss out on the silly robot voice!) Whichever way you choose, you’re adding another dimension to foreplay that should intensify your play.
-
Focus in on Key Pleasure Areas: First things first, apply some lube. Friction is not your friend here. As anyone who’s tried penetration without adequate lubrication can attest, there are few things more uncomfortable than a dry sex toy. So, get some nice water-based lube on there before you do anything else. One of the best areas to focus on is the frenulum, the narrow elastic bit of tissue that runs between the penis shaft and the head. It’s highly erogenous and very sensitive to vibration, with a little patience. At first, they might say it doesn’t feel like much. Try to stick with it. The sensations take time to build up, but they’ll be on cloud nine once they get going. And if you’ve never tried frenulum play before, you’re in for a big surprise! The testicles are another good spot to focus on, although this varies a lot between people. Some love the feeling of vibrations there, while others are ticklish and will hate it. So again, you should ask beforehand and be very gentle at first. Going in too hard on the testicles can be overstimulating. As a clinical psychologist and sex expert, Dr. Laurie Betito writes, “Using a vibrator on any part of the body actually can be stimulating. But if you want to drive him wild, apply the vibrator, with a little bit of pressure in the area between his butt hole and his testicles (the perineum). This is a great way to stimulate the prostate gland from the outside.” It might even open the door for exploring prostate play. For a full guide, see the art of prostate stimulation.
-
Remember—You’re Exploring: A vital part of the whole process is to keep communicating. Not just before you start but throughout. You’re exploring, and the only way to know what works best for you both is to observe your reactions and keep talking. Ask questions like “do you like it here?”, “Harder or softer?”, “How does that feel?” etc. It makes them feel cared for, it’s sexy, and you learn more about your partner’s body and what makes them feel good. If that sounds like a lot to think about, you do have a cheat code. If you’ve ever used a vibrator yourself or had one used on you, that’s a wealth of useful information. Erogenous zones are pretty similar, whatever your identity or genitalia look like. So if something turns you on, there’s a pretty good chance they’ll like it too. It’s also important to remember you’re trying to make them feel good, not “finish” as quickly as possible, so take your time and have fun.
How to Start Using a Vibrator During Sex
Introducing a vibrator into your sex life can feel intimidating at first, but open communication is key. Start by having an honest, judgment-free conversation with your partner. You might say something like, “I’ve been curious about trying a vibrator—what do you think?” or “I think it could be fun to add something new to our routine.” Framing it as an opportunity to explore together can help ease any initial discomfort.
Always ensure that everyone involved is fully on board. Consent and mutual excitement are non-negotiable when trying something new in the bedroom.
Different Types of Vibrators to Try
Vibrators come in a variety of shapes and styles, each offering unique sensations that can be used on the shaft, testicles, or other erogenous zones. Here are some to consider:
- Bullets and Eggs: Small and discreet, these vibrators are great for pinpoint stimulation on the shaft, testicles, or perineum.
- Wands: Larger vibrators with deep, rumbly vibrations that can be used for broad stimulation across erogenous zones.
- Clit Vibrators: Perfect for external use, these can be applied to the shaft, testicles, or anywhere that feels good.
- G-Spot or Vaginal Vibrators: While designed for internal use, these can provide unique sensations when used externally against the shaft or testicles.
- Finger Vibrators: Worn on the hand, these are great for enhancing handjobs, blowjobs, or exploring sensitive areas of the body (just avoid using them inside the anus).
- Vibrating Penis Rings: Worn at the base of the penis, these can enhance sensation during handjobs, blowjobs, or partnered intercourse by providing vibration for both partners.
Be Safe
One more thing: clean up after yourselves and be safe at all times!
If you normally use condoms during sex, then don’t forget STIs can be transmitted by vibrators. Dame’s ultra-thin condoms work for barrier protection on toys as well. So if you’re taking turns using the same toy on each other, you have to clean it between uses—Dame’s Hand + Vibe Cleaner makes this quick—or put a condom over the top of the vibrator.
Vibrators are for everyone, regardless of gender, but that doesn’t mean everyone will enjoy them. Open, honest conversations are key to ensuring that you and your partner are on the same page about exploring new tools for pleasure.
For those who are curious, vibrators can be a game-changer—spicing up your sex life, enhancing solo play, and helping you discover new ways to connect with your body and your partner.
Ready to explore? Browse Dame’s full vibrator collection to find the perfect match for your needs. Because pleasure should always be about what feels good to you.
Special Thanks To:
-
Aliyah Moore, sex therapist
-
Tara Struyk, co-founder of Kinkly.com
-
Dr. Laurie Betito, clinical psychologist and sex expert
1 comment
Four court dates from a dropped charge