What Is a Blended Orgasm?

From vaginal orgasms to G-spot orgasms to anal orgasms to straight up clitoral orgasms, there is no shortage of orgasms to be had out there. And here’s the best part: All of these orgasms don’t necessarily exist independently of one another. You can combine any number of stimuli to create a blended orgasm. This means engaging different areas of the clitoris or other erogenous zones to double, triple, or even quadruple the ways you experience climax. Before we talk more about what a blended orgasm actually is (and how to have one), allow us first to address the elephant in the room: There are too many articles designed to make those raised female feel “less than”—especially when it comes to sex. There is a lot of pressure to have all kinds of Olympian orgasms, all while attending to our partner’s needs over our own. So easy, right? When it comes to blended orgasms, it can be easy to think: Why not add blended orgasms to the mix?!! By all means, pile on that pressure. We want to be clear that while Dame is in the business of accurate information and sex positivity, we are not trying to add complexities and unrealistic expectations to your life. We want to encourage you to explore your sexuality and love every minute of it. It just so happens there are lots of different ways a vulva-haver’s beautiful, majestic, glorious, complex body experiences pleasure and orgasm. You should see what works for you and revel in all that pleasure.

What exactly is a blended orgasm?

Now, you might be thinking: What in the heck is a blended orgasm? As far as I’m concerned I just need my clitoris rubbed and I have enough trouble getting partners to do THAT on a regular basis. Well, you’re not alone. Blended orgasm is actually as straightforward as the term sounds: It’s an orgasm that comes from blended pleasure. This means that you’re experiencing multiple sensations at once during the time of orgasm. This can also apply to those who need to experience multiple forms of stimulation (such as clitoral and nipple) to experience orgasm. A “blended orgasm” is usually a blanket term for those who like both internal stimulation as well as external stimulation of the clitoris. About 80 percent of clitoris-owning people require external stimulation of the clitoris to experience orgasm. For example, if you orgasm during penetrative sex while stimulating the clitoris with your hands or fingers, you have blended orgasms. Blended orgasms aren’t that complicated when you think about it. You may be having blended orgasms already and just haven’t considered it. This kind of multi-stimulation is not some ridiculous thing we can’t attain.

How many kinds of blended orgasm can there be?

The key to blended orgasms is the clitoris. The clitoris is the mack daddy of all female-bodied orgasm, no matter the flavor. There are (quite literally) too many different kinds of blended orgasms to count. To name a few: combined anal and clitoral stimulation, G-spot and clitoral stimulation, cervical and clitoral stimulation, nipple and anal stimulation. It goes on and on. If you enjoy external stimulation of the clitoris in tandem with G-spot stimulation, that’s having a blended orgasm. You’ll need to explore different kinds of stimulation to see what works for you. Not everything works for every body, and that’s OK! You might only like to have very pinpointed, one-spot stimulation, but you might not. Whatever you enjoy is perfectly normal.

Can I even have one?

The answer is, as with all things sex-related, not black and white. Every single body is different and as unique as a ‘90s R&B song. Perhaps you’re interested in exploring your sexual threshold further. Try different things and take note of how you feel. You may find a certain kind of stimulation you hadn’t previously considered is the thing you need to take your orgasms from great to amazing. The easiest way to get started with blended orgasms is with combined G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Start by finding your G-spot. The G-spot is “more of a region than an anatomical construct,” says sex and relationships therapist Cyndi Darnell. “When a vulva-owner is fully aroused, the G spot can be reached by inserting one or two fingers and massaging the area that is the back of the clitoris, behind the pubic bone, by using a come hither motion.” You can also use a toy for G-spot stimulation. (Check out Dame’s new multipurpose vibrator, Arc.) While all of this is going down, you can incorporate your favorite clitoral toys to get that pleasure blended. Sometimes it’s easier for you to focus on the clitoris while your partner focuses on the G-spot. Grab your Pom and get after it! Keep in mind that there is no pressure here. Sexual pleasure is not about being able to do sexual acrobatics, where you’re able to have an orgasm with a butt plug in, your cervix stimulated, all while having intercourse. None of this is meant to make you feel like you need to perform or that what you like in bed isn’t “good enough.” All pleasure is wonderful. If you’re having good sex, are loving everything you do in bed, and are happy—then keep doing your thing!