The G-spot still fuels healthy controversy, even today. The internet will assure you that everyone can have a G-spot orgasm. Patriarchal culture can often convince people that G-spot orgasms (vaginal orgasms) are somehow more real or more valid than clitoral orgasms, and that these are the types of orgasms that should be happening during penis-in-vagina sex. However, when you talk to real people, there remains a lot of confusion about whether the G-spot exists, where you can find it, and how it’s supposed to make you feel.
One vagina-owner I spoke with said, “From what I’ve heard throughout my life, the G-spot should be an ‘obvious’ place or feeling when ‘found.’ I think I know where mine is. But I’m not 100% sure.”
Another woman shared, “I am confused by it! I’ve sometimes felt what I think is G-spot stimulation during doggy-style sex, but it also made me feel like I had to urinate, which wasn’t pleasant. I’ve never found it myself.”
If you can relate, you’re in good company. Only 6% of women orgasm via vaginal penetration during sex. Most women need some type of clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Gif by Lea Carey
Insert two fingers into your vagina with your palm facing up and towards you. About two inches inside your vagina you should feel a spot where the tissue is slightly rougher than the surrounding vaginal wall.
You may have an easier time finding this spot if you are already turned on. Begin by losing yourself in your go-to fantasy about a hot coworker (or whatever else does it for you), and touching yourself in ways that you already know feel good for you. Then move on to looking for your G-spot. Use lube if you need to.
If you don’t feel a rough patch, that’s ok! Every vagina is different. For some people, the G-spot may be an actual, identifiable spot. For others, it’s a more generalized area on the front wall.
Don’t get discouraged. It’s common to have trouble achieving orgasm through internal stimulation alone, though for many people, it is possible. If you want to incorporate G-spot stimulation into a broader orgasm, try paying attention to your clitoris and your G-spot at the same time. Often, clitoral stimulation can bring you to orgasm while the G-spot stimulation adds a level of intensity and depth to the experience that makes the orgasm feel different. Try using a clitoral vibrator like the Eva in combination with your new G-spot moves and see what you discover.
It can help to go into this experience without expecting to reach orgasm. Your goal should be to relax and discover what feels pleasurable and what doesn’t. Much like developing muscle memory, you are teaching your body to remember how to find the magic spot, and new ways to feel good.
Oh – do you want another challenge once you’ve found the G-spot? How about looking for the A-spot?
What do we actually know about the G-spot?
Though many vulva-owners do experience pleasure from penetration or internal vaginal stimulation, modern science has not yet explained the exact nature of the G-spot. The idea of the G-spot, a pleasure zone located on the interior frontal wall of the vagina, was first suggested in the 1950s by a German scientist named Ernst Grafenberg (hence the Grafenberg spot, or “G-spot” as we have come to call it). The G-spot was popularized in the 1980s with the publication of a book called The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality by Alice Khan Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry. More than half a century after Grafenberg’s “discovery,” the exact nature of the G-spot remains difficult to define. A few holdouts, led by Italian sexologist Emmanuele Jannini, still insist that it doesn’t even exist. Most experts, though, now disagree. Most recently, the G-spot has been described as a part of the clitoris. “The clitoris?” I hear you ask. “Isn’t that outside the vagina, above the urethra and surrounded by the labia?” Not completely. We’re talking about the larger internal clitoris that you stimulate through the anterior (front) vaginal wall, near the belly button. What does the vaginal wall have to do with this? Well, the clitoris extends as many as five inches into your body. And since the clitoris is a vagina-owner’s primary sexual pleasure organ, it is very possible that through vaginal penetration with fingers, toys, or a penis, you could stimulate the internal legs of the clitoris and generate some incredible, pleasurable sensations. Not everyone credits the clitoris. Other researchers have discovered that there is an area on the front wall of the vagina that has more nerve endings and blood vessels than the rest of the vagina. That could also explain the sexual, ideally-orgasmic sensations associated with the G-spot. Before moving on, there’s one more part of the story which is also important. Located on the vaginal wall near the G-spot and urethra in an area called the urethral sponge, there are two small ducts which scientists call the lesser vestibular glands, but are better known as the Skene’s glands. Their primary function of these glands is believed to be lubricating the urethra. However, they also fill with fluid during their owner’s sexual arousal. And if they’re stimulated the right way, they release the fluid as ejaculate, in what’s commonly known as squirting or “female ejaculation.” Why is that important to our discussion? Experts say that the Skene’s glands are homologues of the prostate in penis-havers; many call them the “female prostate.” Since the glands are in close proximity to the G-spot, some believe that what is described as a “G-spot orgasm” is really the “vulva-owners’ version” of a penis-owners’ powerful prostate orgasm. So although many people experience pleasure from stimulating the front wall of the vagina, there is no firm explanation why. Nor is there a definite anatomical structure that we can identify as the G-spot. The anatomy is fascinating, but what we’re really after here is what society insists on calling the “female orgasm.” So it’s probably worth trying to find that sweet spot inside your vagina which may turn you on when it’s touched. Finding the G-spot might even bring you to a mind-blowing climax. Here are some tips.Where can I find my G-spot?
Gif by Lea Carey
Insert two fingers into your vagina with your palm facing up and towards you. About two inches inside your vagina you should feel a spot where the tissue is slightly rougher than the surrounding vaginal wall.
You may have an easier time finding this spot if you are already turned on. Begin by losing yourself in your go-to fantasy about a hot coworker (or whatever else does it for you), and touching yourself in ways that you already know feel good for you. Then move on to looking for your G-spot. Use lube if you need to.
If you don’t feel a rough patch, that’s ok! Every vagina is different. For some people, the G-spot may be an actual, identifiable spot. For others, it’s a more generalized area on the front wall.