How to Choose Your First Vibrator

If you’ve already started searching for your first vibrator, congratulate yourself! That is a big first step. Even seasoned sexperts like Dame CEO, Al Fine, started somewhere — like finding (and stealing) her mom’s vibrator: “ my mom’s vibrating dildo 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was going through my mom’s drawer and found this vibrating dildo with an anatomical penis sleeve. I guess I thought I’d just rinse it and borrow and put it back…. but I never did. I just stole it. What was she going to do? Confront me about it? That would have been awkward for her… though this does feel really embarrassing to admit out loud. Whatever —GOOD FOR ME! I didn’t have access, I saw something, I took it and I’m now owning that truth.” Because vibrator theft might not be the best way to acquire your first toy, we’ve created a guide for how to get started in your search for the perfect vibe. You may have noticed that vibrators come in a dizzying variety of shapes, sizes, and functions/intensities. Choosing which is right for you can be a bit overwhelming. Here’s the sunny side: plenty of options means the right vibe for you is out there, waiting, and that down the road, there will be even more opportunities to explore and experiment. The way we see it, there’s pleasure in play — and practicing your pleasure is part of the process. Before we dive into the fundamentals of vibrator matching, it’s helpful to know why people use vibrators: well, lots of different reasons! There’s no one right way to use or own a vibrator, but some common uses include

• Achieving better, more, and/or quicker orgasms while masturbating.
• Having better partnered sex.
• Stimulate lots of different erogenous zones both during partnered and solo play.
• Explore your sexual pleasure in a safe space on your own terms.
• Introduce a bit of playfulness and experimentation into your sex life.

I’ve never owned a vibrator, how do I know what I like?

• First step is to think about your body and where you prefer to experience pleasure. Are you comfortable with penetration? Do you prefer external stimulation? Do you like both simultaneously?
• A nice next step is to envision yourself receiving or giving yourself pleasure. What physical position is your body in? Are you reclined by yourself/beneath a partner or are you prone/on top of a partner? Another way to think about this is, if you’ve masturbated before, what positions do you most prefer?
• Now that you’re familiar with where your body is and what kinds of positions you enjoy, think about or explore what kinds of touches feel good to you. Some people enjoy more intense stimulation than others and some people prefer internal to external stimulation and vice versa. What do you like? Remember, this purchase is for *you*, so there’s no need to worry about what is “normal” or sexy for other people–this is just about you and your relationship with your body.

Types of vibes:

Choosing your first vibrator can be both exciting and somewhat intimidating, especially if you’re not sure what your options are. There are lots of different types of vibrators and choosing which kind you want to start with depends on your pleasure preferences, aesthetic desires, and budget. Here’s a breakdown of the most common types of vibrators for vulva havers:

Classic penetrative vibrator

These vibrators are phallic-shaped (think, vibrating dildo) and offer good penetrative stimulation and can also be repurposed for clitoral stimulation. They come in a wide range of girth, length, and shape, and some look more realistic than others.

External stimulation vibes

This is a pretty large category of vibrators, but all of them have the same central goal: provide clitoral stimulation for maximum pleasure for people with vulvas. Approximately 3 out 4 people with vulvas report need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, so external vibrators are excellent starter tools for folks who aren’t too sure about using a vibrator for penetration. Some examples of external vibrators include wand vibrators, finger vibrators, hands-free vibrators, “lipstick” vibrators, bullet vibrators, suction toys, and more. These vibrators are often aesthetically pleasing and more discreet than their phallic-shaped counterparts.

“Rabbit” vibrators

The rabbit is considered another “classic sex toy,” as it’s achieved near iconic status in our popular culture. The two main features of the rabbit vibe are a phallic shaft for vaginal stimulation/penetration and a clitoral stimulator attached to the shaft. Earlier models had two prongs on the clitoral stimulator that resembled rabbit ears, hence the name. Rabbits are effective toys for blended stimulation, but can also be somewhat intimidating for beginners, depending on comfort level.

G spot vibes

G spot vibrators are exactly what they sound like: vibrators designed with stimulation of the internal “g spot” in mind. A quick caveat: the g spot is a somewhat controversial subject in sexology (and in our own personal searching efforts), but there is consensus that there’s an area inside the anterior wall of the vagina (the part closest to your belly), likely part of the clitoral network,rather that feels really good. The challenge, then, is finding it. G spot vibrators bring that effort within reach, as they often have an arched shape that allows you to stimulate the places you might not otherwise be able to reach.

What are some “must have” features in a vibrator?

Before you go out in search of your own maiden toy, there are some common baseline features that each vibrator must have in order to be safe, durable, and effective: The material of the vibrator should be nonporous in order to be sanitizable. One of the most popular materials to use is silicone, many are even available in medical grade silicone. Some other nonporous materials include metal, glass, and hard plastic. Whichever material you choose, be sure you like the look of it! Sexologists report that finding the vibe aesthetically pleasing is almost as important as enjoying the sensations it is capable of. You wouldn’t want to spend time getting to know yourself and your pleasure with a toy you think looks garish or unappealing.

Conclusion - Go Forth! / You Got This /

You’ve decided to prioritize yourself and your pleasure by buying a vibrator – we can’t imagine a more exciting journey to begin. Investing in the perfect tool for you can seem overwhelming, but there are lots of resources available to help you make the right choice. You may also find that owning more than one vibrator is a great way to explore different sensations in a variety of settings. Whatever you choose, know that there is no such thing as “normal” – just what feels good to you and your body.